He’s 10!

Ernie turned 10 today. My first baby, the little guy that turned me into a mom, actually turned 10! Ernie has had the best day. He woke up happy, had a great day at school, came home from school happy, and then had birthday party- on a Monday no less- with his best friends. Pretty great way to have a birthday, if you ask me.

Ernie’s getting all grown up all of a sudden… and the recent pictures of him seem to reflect that.

He’s a great kid with a great sense of humor and he’s full of compassion. We are so lucky to have him.

Life is Hard

Nigel’s run-on sentence of the day:

“Mom, I was playing soccer today and someone came up and kicked me in the chest right here (pointing to his chest) and I didn’t cry and I kept on running because I learned that life is hard but you have to keep on going because that’s what a Smith would do!”

It’s days like today that make me feel like all this parenting stuff might actually be working :)

Ernie’s Excellent Letter Writing Skills

About three weeks ago we were following a concrete truck down the road and it was dropping large rocks off the back. Naturally, one of the rocks hit our windshield and left a nasty crack. We flagged the truck down, got the driver's information, and then subsequently sent a letter to the concrete company requesting that they pay for our new windshield. According to our insurance agent friend, the concrete truck was at fault and if we sent them a letter, they would pay for the damages. I think I mentioned before- it's been 3 weeks now. Here's the email that Ernie sent today.

Ms. Colavita-

I have been referred to you by Liz Asmar (or rather someone at her office at Stewart, Sneed and Hewes Insurance Company), who was in turn referred to me by Donna Mitchell at Jones Companies, who in turn was referred to me by James Stringer at Jones Concrete in Columbia, Mississippi.  I sure hope that you can help me, because as you can see I have been passed around more than a fussy baby at a family reunion.

We sent the attached letter out a couple of weeks ago, and it recently came back to us undelivered.  Please read it and let me know what we need to do to file a claim and get reimbursed for the damage done to our vehicle.

Thank you in advance,

Ernie Smith

We got a response back from her today saying that an adjuster will be out in the next 24-48 hours. Good Work, Honey!

Black Creek Canoe Trip: Pictures

The weather was creektastic yesterday! The kids loved jumping out of the canoes and swimming alongside them. They adored building a “Minnow Trap” and trying to catch bunches of minnows. They loved being outside on a Saturday and doing something fun!

 

 

 

Black Creek Canoe Trip: Preview

There are adorable pictures documenting our super fun canoe trip today, and those I will post tomorrow. But for tonight, I’ll share a canoe anecdote that makes me laugh even now.

As the canoe (paddled by me and Nigel, with Emmaline and Max along for the ride) headed swiftly and unwaveringly into a dense low-hanging tree, I could see that the crash was inevitable and I shouted, “Duck!”

At that point we immediately slammed into a mess of low hanging branches and Emmaline started screaming her head off and tried to jump out of the canoe and into the water (I seriously thought she had a snake on her, but in reality she was scared of a water spider) and Nigel was shouting, “What’s wrong, Emmaline? Why are you screaming?” and Max was crying because he had leaves in his mouth and I was laughing uncontrollably, because it was all so funny to me. The best I could do was gasp between giggling fits and call for Ernie to come and help us.

Ernie got us untangled and Emmaline decisively left my canoe to ride with Ernie (because of the aforementioned spider scare) and we started down the creek again.

About 10 minutes after the incident, when things were once again peaceful and calm, Max turned to me and calmly stated, “I don’t like that Duck, Mommy”. Poor kid was probably looking for a water fowl when we hit the tree.

Weekend Plans

Two weekends ago I had a really, really good idea. I only announce that I had such a good idea because Ernie is always the “fun and spontaneous” one in our marriage (and I- in comparison- am not) and I was really proud of myself for thinking this one up. As I drove Ernie to work on Friday morning I was pondering how, when I picked him up that evening, we’d be 1/3 of the way to the beach already, and why not just pick him up and keep on going all the way to the beach and have a picnic dinner! So that’s exactly what we did. When the kids walked in the door from school on Friday afternoon I told them to go straight upstairs and get their swimsuits on. I’m sure you can imagine the shrieks of delight.

The beach was beautiful that Friday night. The water was warm and there was a lovely breeze. The kids adored sitting on a blanket on the sand and eating dinner (roast chicken, tomato basil salad, fruit salad, french bread) on paper plates and drinking water bottles flavored with a variety of individual flavor packets. The kids officially crowned me the “Best Mom Ever”.

After the kids wore themselves out and the sun had gone down, we packed up and drove over to Cupcakes- a gourmet bakery in Gulf Port- where the kids were introduced the deliciousness of filled cupcakes with crazy amounts of frosting on top.

The evening was a complete success!

What are we going to do this weekend, you ask?

Easy. Tomorrow we’ll be spending the whole day canoeing and swimming in a river (Ernie’s idea this time). I can’t wait to tell the kids!

Implanted Memories

On the way to soccer practice I asked Ernie if he’d finished his homework.

“Um, yeah… I think so.”

“Ernie, you either did your homework or you didn’t. Did you finish your homework?”

“Um… yes…I did it all on the bus...”

“Hmm. I’m not sure that you’re telling me the truth, so I want you to show me your homework as soon as we get back to the house.”

When we pulled into the driveway after soccer practice, I’d actually forgotten this exchange in the car. Then Ernie turned to me and asked,

“Mom, is there such a thing as Memory Implantation where you can have a false memory planted in your brain?”

I said that yes, false memories happen all the time.

“So that’s what happened!! Mom, when I told you that I did my homework on the bus… I just realized that I was having an implanted memory! (So, I still have to do all my homework.)”

Well- he may not have been truthful, but I have to give him points for creativity!

Some days I think being a Man would be easier

I have been hesitant to blog for the last few weeks, not because there hasn’t been anything to say- but more because I haven’t had the words to articulate the things I’ve been mulling over in my head- and beyond the things in my head, I haven’t had much else to blog about (except for Nigel’s baptism, which was wonderful!).

For starters, I am having one of my regularly scheduled reevaluation sessions with myself. These sessions comes up at least once a year and they are often triggered by my frustration with household chores and then they snowball. You might be wondering at this point, what exactly it is that I am reevaluating with myself so regularly and the answer to that is my role as a stay at home mom.

I have a serious love/hate relationship with being a stay at home mom.

On the love side

• I get to be with my kids for all the normal, mundane (important) things in life
• All the togetherness for the mundane activities allows for lots of important teaching moments
• I am flexible during the week. I can be at the school if I need to. I can offer last minute Relief Society service pretty easily. I can meet Ernie for lunch on a whim.
• I have time to manage the minutia of running a household and it doesn’t take away from time with the kids.
• I am available for all the major holidays and all of summer vacation.
• I have time to read books, to sew quilts, to go to the gym.

On the hate side

• I am responsible for cleaning the house- even if I don’t do it, the ultimate responsibility is mine to make sure that it gets done. (This is a huge dislike for me).
• I am embarrassed to tell people that I spend my time at the gym, sewing quilts, reading books. I feel like this gives the impression that I lead a life of leisure and that I am not interested in working hard.
• I am ambitious (and I like praise) and I struggle with feeling trapped at home.
• I used to worry that maybe I was lazy and that I wasn’t smart enough to be employed. (Then I got a job when the older kids were young and I realized that people dumber than me get hired every day).
• Now I worry that if I wait too long, the career option I want will be closed to me.

So now we come to the crux of the issue for me. I am confident that this issue is highly personal and every woman is entitled to receive personal revelation about what works for them. But how am I supposed to resolve my significantly contrasting feelings? This issue goes so far beyond working or not working. It has to do with how I view myself and what parameters I allow for defining myself.

Which is why- today- I decided that things would be a whole lot easier if I were a man. Ernie never had to question the parameters given to him for defining himself. He always knew that he would go to work and that he would do that every day until retirement. He knew that he would be defined by his career path and he wouldn’t have to sit down and figure out every few months which hobbies made him who he was. I know many women who tell me that all they ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom and they can’t imagine doing anything else. I struggle with feeling ashamed and guilty that I haven’t settled smoothly into the trappings of Motherhood the way I’ve seen other people do.

I’m working to make peace with the truth that my ambition in life is not just to parent my 4 children, but to also Broaden and Contribute in the world around me. Since I am obviously not happy being defined by other people’s definition of a stay at home mom, I’ve decided that instead the people that I want to impress are my children. I want my kids to see me placing the highest priority on living the gospel, focusing on education (all kinds, not just college), and reaching outside of comfortable social groups and stepping out into the world where we all can do much good. I want my kids to be proud of me.

A Baptism Story

Nigel was baptized on Sunday and it was an absolutely fabulous day! Nonny and Poppy (my mom and dad) and Grandma and Pappou (Ernie’s mom and dad) drove down from Atlanta to join in the festivities. Sylvia and her kids thought that they were coming, until Sylvia found lice- that most dreaded public school pest- in Lilly’s hair. And so Sylvia stayed home, which was really and truly ok with me.

Sunday was a tender day. Because it was fast and testimony meeting, earlier in the day at church both Ernie and Nigel bore their testimonies for the first time in public. Ernie was incredibly sweet and sincere and he spoke about how happy he was that Nigel was getting baptized and then he shared how much he loved Nigel and all the things that he liked about Nigel (Nigel’s great imagination and sense of humor). Nigel bore a very sweet testimony and spoke about how he was going to be baptized and how he knew he was “always going to be good and do the right thing”. It was certainly a testimony full of hope!

I was worried before this weekend arrived that I would be spending my whole weekend cooking, cleaning, setting up, and taking down and that I wouldn’t be able to fully relax and enjoy this most special event. I am thrilled to report that this was not the case at all. I let the Walmart bakery handle the baptism goodies- which relieved a lot of stress and I cleaned the house some, but not perfectly (it was, in my opinion, perfectly adequate). The meals weren’t stressful and my dad was sweet enough to take me and Ernie out to dinner the first night that he and mom were in town so that I wouldn’t have to cook.

Lastly, I did not prepare a talk for Nigel’s baptism like I had initially planned. I assigned that particular task to Little Ernie (talk on baptism) and Maytha (talk on the Holy Ghost). My dad said the opening prayer and Emmaline said the closing prayer. My mom played the piano and I led the music.

Little Ernie loves to give talks, so he was thrilled at the prospect of speaking at Nigel’s baptism. He wrote a wonderful talk that he ended up leaving on the kitchen table at home, and when we got over to the church he was so mad about forgetting his talk, he really, really didn’t want to participate anymore. Dean Nickens conducted the baptism and when Dean announced Ernie’s talk, Ernie muttered under his breath (very loudly) “Oh, Man!” At that point I got up and Ernie very grudgingly got up with me. I invited him to speak, but he mostly just stood there stone-faced (which was so unintentionally funny, all the adults were giggling) and I gave his talk for him. He did read one passage of scripture and he announced that at his baptism he felt like he’d been “wrapped in a warm blanket”- but all of that was said in a frustrated, pre-teen tone of voice. (It was like pulling teeth). The very best part was that when he sat down he turned to his Grandma and actually complained that “she (meaning me) stole my whole talk!!” (As if I had somehow denied him the opportunity!) Maytha’s talk on the Holy Ghost was great and Nigel paid attention to the whole thing- which is a big deal since Nigel is very easily distracted.

The actual baptism was quick and perfect on the very first time. My dad and Big Ernie were the witnesses. I only type that because there is significance in this. Big Ernie has not been active in church for almost 30 years and he started attending church again about 2 years ago. This is the first time he has ever participated in any church thing related to the grandchildren (besides just showing up). He even wore a white shirt and a tie. He also stood in the circle for Nigel’s confirmation. Definitely a first for that one.

The baptism program was short and sweet- start to finish 40 minutes. Just the way I like it!

All in all, Nigel had a wonderful experience and think that his Baptism day will stay with him for the rest of his life. At least I hope it will. His Baptism Day certainly meant a lot to me and it’s a day that I will definitely cherish and look back on with a soft heart.