Quick update

I have been so busy running around with the kids and Ernie coming in and out of town, and barely being able to handle my own life- that I have missed a blog or two. For shame. Seriously. I’m not feeling guilty- I’m feeling regretful. Little Ernie put himself to bed the other night with my blog book from 2010 as his book to read for the evening. He told me that he loves to read the long entries and honestly, I think he likes to see our family life reflected through my eyes. So for the 5 people out there who even read these posts, I’m going to try to do a little better. I want Ernie and the other kids to have more than a little to read as they grow up.

So, to begin. I have joined a gym and the exercise is helping my mental health tremendously. On the down side, I’ve had strep, Max had bronchitis, Nigel had the beginnings of pneumonia, and all of as have had allergy issues in the extreme. So the gym attendance has been spotty. But I’m hopeful that this week everyone will maintain good health and I’ll be able to work out to my heart’s content.

Cotton. Lots of awesome cotton. Ernie wrote a really great post on his blog about the cotton crops around here, so check it out here. Max is living in a world of more “fuzzies” than he could ever have imagined. It is beautiful and I have really enjoyed watching them harvest and bale the cotton right out in the fields.

Gratitude. I have been feeling grateful for a loving and kind partner in life. And for good kids. And paying the bills. And new appliances.

Which brings me to the new appliances! We bought the house a week ago today. (Yea!) We signed the papers in the morning and the first of the appliances went in that afternoon. The last thing will be the stove, which should arrive the end of this week. I feel so decadent, buying the appliances right when we move in- for me to use and enjoy!- instead of at the end of the homeownership, for someone else’s use and enjoyment.

And this weekend is Max’s 4th birthday. And the weekend after that is the Fall Party that we’re hosting in our backyard for Ernie’s staff and customer service group. 80 people. That’s how many people have RSVP’d so far. I may be freaking out a bit.

But mostly I’m feeling calm today. Which is why I have the wherewithal to type up this little post. And announce that I’m still hanging in here! And I think that I can tackle the party ok.

Last thing- White Chocolate Bread Pudding. I kid you not, this dessert is incredible. It literally tastes like you made bread pudding with homemade cinnamon rolls for the bread. It’s pretty much what I ate today. I’m happy to share the recipe with anyone who wants it. 

Happy Fall!

Breakdown? Who said anything about a Breakdown?

So it’s possible. Maybe. That I may or may not have had a bit of crises over the move. Possibly. But since I try to deny all such shenanigans and only show such ridiculous amounts of emotion to Ernie, let’s move past all that and discuss the latest comings and goings.

Max: Adorable kid that he is, he is obsessed with Disneyland (we went there this summer). He is constantly, daily, still asking me when we can go back.

Emmaline: Has fallen in love with our new babysitter, Kyler. She asks almost daily if Kyler (an adorable 13 year old) can have a playdate with her.

Nigel: Is doing well in school and is awesome at maintaining a cheerful disposition. He is hugely obsessed with “Plants Vs. Zombies” which is an iPhone video game that Ernie downloaded.

Ernie: Recently become aware of our home phone. His friend told him that since his mom had a cell phone and his dad had a cell phone, the home phone was like his own cell phone. I agreed with that and told Ernie that he can pretend that our home phone is his cell phone too.

My Ernie: Traveling a lot. But also awesomely present when he’s home. The barn (the air-conditioned 2 car detached garage) is one of his favorite things about life. He has also embraced the lawn mowing, which is a chore since all 5 acres need to be mowed.

Me: I painted the ceiling in the living room, then I painted the walls, and then I painted the furniture. (what’s that? is there a connection between my stress level and an obsessive urge to paint something?) I’m hoping to continue the painting this week while Ernie’s out of town. I’d like to tackle the sunroom next, and then the kitchen. And also the bathrooms… but let’s just take it one room at a time.

Other updates: The house in Mississippi sold last week. (Big sigh of relief). So we will close on our current house the first of October. (Another big sigh of relief)! And I’m hosting all of my family for Thanksgiving here in our new house- so let the planning begin!

Current Lists

Thanks Betina, for your query about current lists. Oh boy mine’s a doozy. Suffice it to say I still have not changed out our car tags, updated any driver’s licenses, changed the mailing address for all of our bills, or unpacked all the boxes.

What have I done? I picked paint colors for the house. In case you’re wondering (and I know that you are!)  the new house color for the main rooms is Martha Stewart Cappuccino. For the dining room and the half bath: Martha Stewart Caraway Seed.

Here’s the list that is making me happy while I walk around the unpacked boxes and happily pretend for the moment that they don’t exist:

Future House Plans:

1. Paint all the colored ceilings a nice happy white.
2. Replace every insanely mismatched ceiling fan with white ceiling fans that will cool the rooms, but disappear into the soon-to-be white ceilings.
3. Replace the appliances in the kitchen. This actually should be number one, because this will happen about 1 week after we close on this house. (we’re doing a lease purchase and the oven is terrible enough for me to actually not ever want to use it. ever.)
4. Find the perfect shade of granite to use for the countertops.
5. And maybe, if I’m lucky, also find the perfect tile to use on the backsplash. (Why won’t Ernie love Subway tiles like I do??)
6. Knock out part of the wall from the living room to the kitchen and make that doorway bigger. It so needs to be bigger.
7. Close in the strange open doorways on either side of the double fireplace with built in bookcases in the living room. But we are definitely leaving those awesome windows!
8. Hang bead board in the sunroom. Not all the way up the walls, but how high?? Decisions, decisions.
9. Take down every set of blinds and replace with curtains. I really like to see out my windows.
10. Build built-in bookcases across the far wall of the sunroom.
11. Paint the master bathroom a much more manageable color.
12. Replace the current shower and tub with a larger tiled shower and a claw foot tub. (Ernie’s idea and it’s genius, in my opinion).
13. Eventually replace the some- not all- of the flooring. What do you think of my friend Jenny’s brick floors? (I love them!)
14. And to make myself feel better, I already changed out the hardware in the kitchen and it makes a huge difference! (please ignore my mess) Check it out: You can see more of the new hardware back in the kitchen picture I posted at the very start of this post.

Was that a school bus?

Yes, it’s true. The kids are back in school. HALLELUEJAH! Now- in all fairness- I love having the kids home and being together for lazy summer days and the like, but this has not been our typical summer and after awhile playing with your siblings and only your siblings loses it’s appeal. And then the arguing begins. And then mom starts wishing that everyone had a friend to play with to dilute the tension. Enter Public School. That wonderful place full of education and art projects, singing time, PE, and most importantly- lunch. The place where my kids are going to meet some new friends!

Today was everyone’s second day. The older kids love their new teachers and Max loves his preschool. I wish that I were a good photographer, or even a mediocre-but-consistent photographer, because this post would be better with pictures. Ah, well.

A few tidbits from the kids recounting of the last two days of school:

Emmaline: Mom, there are 4 other Emma’s in my class at school!

Me: Well, honey- tell them your name is Emmaline so people don’t get you confused.

Emmaline: No. I just told everyone to call me Smith.

This morning I got a phone call from the speech therapist at Nigel’s school. (Nigel graduated from speech therapy at the end of last school year).

Speech Therapist: Mrs. Smith, I wanted to speak with you about Nigel. He told his teacher today that he was in speech therapy last year and that he was still supposed to be going to Speech.

(really, as if I were the kind of parent that wouldn’t stay on top of something like that)

Me: Well, Nigel did ask me last night if he could go back to Speech, but he really doesn’t have any issues anymore. He graduated from Speech at the end of last year. We just moved here 3 weeks ago and he really liked his Speech teacher, and even more than that he liked visiting the treasure box. I think he just wants to revisit the happy memories and enjoy the one on one attention. So no, he doesn’t need any Speech Therapy right now.

After getting off the bus today (while eating snack):

Ernie: Mom, my pimple is really starting to smooth out.

Me: Good, honey- I’m glad. (The pimple saga has been going on for almost a week now and Ernie has been updating me constantly on it’s progress).

Ernie: Mom, can I take a shower tonight.

Me: No, honey. You took one this morning. You really don’t need to be showering twice a day.

Ernie: *sigh*

Ah, we’re now navigating the brave new world of having a pre-teen.

Overall I think it’s going to be a good year and everyone is already much happier. Hurray for school!

Due to transition crisis…

… we are headed out of town. Last night at church (oh yeah, I’m back in Young Womens) Little E punched another kid. Fantastic. Now of course, he was quickly remorseful and full of sorrow and self-flagellation(because that’s how Little E rolls) and he very soon dissolved into tears. We ended up discussing how he feels that he’s meeting new people too quickly and how he wished he could just meet new people only a handful at a time and not all at once. Then he ended by telling me that he really just wants to see his cousins. Now, for that comment about the cousins to make sense, you have to understand that Sylvia’s kids have been my children's constants through all the moves. My children’s lifelong friends. And every time I move somewhere new, I crave the comfort of old friends- and understandably, so does Little Ernie. Which explains why we are getting in the car on Monday morning and driving to Atlanta for the week. We will stay at Sylvia’s new house, have a blast swimming in her pool, and celebrate Nigel’s 9th birthday 2 1/2 weeks early- so he can have a party with his cousins. (A birthday party here would be a bit of a downer, given that we don’t know anyone to invite besides ourselves). It sounds like fun to me!

Here’s a snippet of the conversation I had with Emmaline tonight:

Emmaline: I can’t believe that the people who lived here before us were in this house for 10 years! That’s a long time!

Me: I know. We sure have lived in a lot of houses, haven’t we?

Emmaline: We have. Mom, I think that we are a Traveling Family.

I like it. We’re a Traveling Family. (Who hopefully won’t be moving again anytime soon.)

A Few Thoughts on the Big Move

We’re here in Medina, TN. Whew! Let’s all take a big sigh of relief that the old house is empty, clean and waiting for a buyer and- while the new house might be full of boxes- they’re our boxes, full of our stuff. I survived the 6 1/2 hour drive north with a car filled to maximum capacity with all the stuff the movers wouldn’t put on the truck, 4 kids, 1 dog, and a frazzled mom.

We went to church on Sunday and honestly, by next week I expect we’ll have met everyone there is to meet. The Branch has an average weekly attendance of 60 people, and our arrival doubled the primary. People are very nice and the 1st counselor in the bishopric very frankly told us that they are excited to have us speak this Sunday since they don’t often have new speakers. Everyone has been extremely kind and welcoming and I get that feeling that this small unit of the church functions very much like a family.

A few thoughts on the move:

• I COULD NOT have managed everything in Hattiesburg without all the amazing love and support I got from my dear friends there. The ladies who took my kids, brought meals, and helped me clean. Ernie did not come home for this move, so this move was on me alone and I was not alone.
• Max is the most stressed of all the kids. He has been exceptionally clingy and whiny. It’s been a few days and we’re getting the stuff unpacked and he seems to be adjusting now.
• Bogart, our faithful dog, is also having a really hard time. He’s 8 years old and for the first 2 days in the new house he seemed to be highly stressed. He too is starting to settle down.
• A week of eating out for every meal, coupled with an entire summer of not going to the gym, has really wreaked havoc on my waistline. I am a stress eater. There, I admitted it. I will admit that it’s going to be a month or so before I start to feel settled so there will not be any dieting anytime soon.
• There are more churches here than restaurants.
• Ernie and I have managed to handle the stress of this move pretty well. One or two days of not feeling the love- but that’s it! Not bad, in my opinion. We get better at communicating each time we move. We’re better at anticipating the stressful situations that are common with moving and we now have some coping skills that we didn’t have when we started this nomadic lifestyle of ours.
• I hate trying to figure out the best way to set up a new kitchen. I mean, really. It takes a while to get the cupboards perfect and to have the flow down for cooking and cleaning. Arghh. I just know that half of what I’ve unpacked is going to be moved in the next 3 months to a better, more efficient location. (And I’m already annoyed about it).
• The yard takes the girl next door 3 1/2 hours to mow and we are paying her $120 per mow. And that’s the cheapest price we found! Since it is now being mowed once a week, I am praying that the fall gets here soon so the grass will stop growing. (We will be purchasing a mower of our own in the spring, but can’t spend the $4500 right now needed to buy the commercial mower that our 5 acres requires.)
• Ernie likes his job. That is a big deal.
• We opened a local bank account today inside the bank. It felt so novel, and antiquated. I don’t think I’ve opened a bank account inside of a bank since 1995. Our new bank account is with the Bank of Milan, in case you’re wondering. And yes, when I say it’s a local bank, I mean local as in Milan, TN. Hence the name: Bank of Milan. (pronounced MY-len, not mi-LAHN).

So overall, life is grand. Life is good. We’re in a new place and we’ll root ourselves as best we can and trust in the Lord to take care of the rest.

Last Sunday

Today was our last Sunday of church here in Mississippi. Hand’s down, the best part of the day was teaching my little Sunbeams. I sure love those little people! And just like he knew that I needed it today, Adam Blaylock snuggled in to my side while we sat and listened to the talks and scripture reading at the beginning of primary. By the middle of singing time, Adam had managed to work his way all the way into my lap and he faced me with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and his head buried in my shoulder. He stayed that way until the Sunbeams all announced that they needed to go to the bathroom. It was sweet and tender and such a nice way to say good-bye.

Who’s up for another move? Anyone?

Hello Medina, Tennessee! Good-bye Hattiesburg, Mississippi (*sob*). And we’re off again on another Smith Team Adventure.

The kids are taking it well enough, I suppose. Let me illustrate:

• Max sat next to me this morning while I repaired a piece of hardwood flooring and then after 15 minutes he quietly announced to me that he had just pooped his pants. (really??? this child never pooped his pants when he was potty training, not even once!)
• And Emmaline only has one volume: Banshee. Because if she isn’t silent, she’s screeching.
• And Nigel can’t figure out where his shoes are, ever. (Oh wait, that has nothing to do with moving- that’s just normal.)
• And Ernie has been overheard yelling at Max, when he is normally patient.

And I am certainly more quick-tempered than I usually am.

However, despite all the stress of being uprooted one.more.time.- the kids are happy. They are excited about our new house- which is on 5 acres!

And the neighbors are really nice and the schools are close. (No school uniforms! Hooray!) And My Ernie is really happy at work, which is vitally important.

I have grieved long and hard about this move- which is a new thing for me. In the past I’ve jumped in with both feet and never really looked back- but this time I feel like maybe I might be looking back a little too much and I’ll be turned into a pillar of salt like Lot’s wife. I don’t know yet why exactly this move is harder for me, because I’ve always loved all the places I’ve lived and every time I’ve been sad to leave all the wonderful people that I’ve met. But just the same, I’ll jump in as best I can when I get to our new home and I’ll follow my time-tested rules for moving to a new location:

1. Move to a new place
2. Meet the neighbors, who may or may not be pleased that 4 small children just moved in next door.
3. Go to church.
4. Realize that your only friend for the next few months will be Ernie.
5. Show up to EVERYTHING. From the primary activity to the Relief Society activity that you're not at all interested in, to the Elder's Quorum service project.
6. Accept every playdate and girl's night invite.
7. Always smile and pretend like you're happy, even if you're not. No one wants to be friends with a sad sack.
8. Gradually introduce people to your sense of humor and view of the world.
9.Know that the people who's faces all blend together will become some of your best friends in the world.
10. Feel gratitude for old friends. The ones who know everything already and who understand everything without needing an explanation.

The movers will be here on Tuesday to pack up the house- which is still a wonder to me as it all takes place. This will be our 5th move and it is still incredible to me to watch my entire house be disassembled in the span of 8 or 9 hours. I will probably cry a few more times and then I will get over it and be happy because Ernie and I will be together again and life is always beautiful when he and I are together.

When the boys are away…

Tonight I am blogging… (wait.. what? I’m blogging again?? Hush. I know it’s been awhile- at least I’m doing it!)

Where was I? Oh yes. Tonight I am blogging on my laptop in the comfort of my bed with a little girl, a pillow pet, 2 Barbies and some Barbie shoes laying in bed next to me. The little girl rolled over and went to sleep a little while ago.  

The men in the family are all at the Father Son Campout tonight, braving the passing thunderstorms and the pretty constant lightening that’s happening up in the sky at the moment. And I am here, snuggled happily in bed with my favorite little girl in the whole world.

Emmaline wasn’t sure at first about being left behind tonight. She generally wants to be doing anything and everything with her brothers and she really didn’t like that the campout tonight was “no girls allowed”. But after the men left, I started giving her all of her choices (pedicures? dinner at a restaurant? pierced ears?) and told her we could do whatever she liked. Ah… the little light bulb turned on and off we went to Chili’s for dinner. Where she ate- I kid you not- almost an entire adult Chicken Caesar Salad. (Emmaline really, really loves salad.)

Me? I really, really love Emmaline. It was delightful to spend an evening with her. She is growing so tall, I can hardly believe it. I loved talking with her and laughing with her and I was quite impressed with her sense of humor. It’s good to be Emmaline’s mom. It’s also good to be in a nice dry house and not a wet tent in the rain. Hurray for being girls!

A wedding and a princess

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? Did you see that lovely dress?? In case you didn’t, please take a look at this:

The bride was nothing short of stunning. (As I have stated several times today- I’d like to get married again just so I could wear that dress!) Later today I actually read an article stating that Kate Middleton’s choice of a modest gown, could go a very long way in quite possibly stemming the recent trend in highly immodest clothing being worn by both mothers and daughters.

This morning I sat with Max and watched the wedding. I had it recorded on the TV as I was not interested in getting up at 2am to watch it live. And the whole time Max was fascinated and kept telling me that I was the princess and I used to live in a castle and that he liked when I was a princess and I got married too. Then he asked me if he could give me a princess hug. Love his little heart, I could tell that he honestly believed that I was a princess and I love him for it.

It was a beautiful service and as I watched Prince William and Princess Catherine and all the adoring crowds screaming and yelling for them- it seemed to me that the couple really looked like they viewed each other as equals and that they were in love and that they truly like each other- and I was so happy for them. And I thought, “I think that I really must be Ernie’s princess because I feel just as happy and content as I think Kate feels right now and she just married the man who is the future king of England.” I wouldn’t trade places with her for anything in the whole world.

My favorite part of the wedding- and there were many things that I liked (especially the choir music)- was the sermon given by the Bishop of London. It was simple and well stated and it was true doctrine. I liked it so much that it bears repeating and I am including it here:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope. 

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.    

Hobbies

Ernie- for those who don’t know- is currently obsessed with photography. This is normal for Ernie, completely normal to have an obsession. Ernie is the kind of man who knows a great deal about pretty much everything and loves, loves, loves to have a hobby. Ernie is also an all or nothing hobbyist. His interest range is extensive, but every few years something strikes him the right way and a full obsession is born.

Let’s recap.

When I was pregnant with Little Ernie, Ernie and I went into a fish store. In the back of the shop they had this amazing room with all these walls of fish tanks. The fish tanks were full of coral and exotic looking fish and I called out to Ernie, telling him that he should check it out. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how the Reef Tank Obsession was born. Ernie’s salt water tank started with a 55 gallon tank and by the end- consisted of a 180 gallon tank, built into the wall of our basement in Indiana. We killed fish (at $40- $100 a piece). We killed coral (at $20-$150 a piece). We invested in equipment and then more equipment to keep the pH balance, the calcium levels, and the salinity right. We learned that the appropriate lighting for a reef tank requires metal halide lights which are only used for two reasons: coral reef fish tanks and growing pot in your closet. The fish tank, in short, was a money pit- but it was beautiful and the kids loved it. Over the years of crisis management with Ernie’s fish tanks, while he was traveling full time, and him trying to talk me through the trouble shooting over the phone and fish dying and water leaking- I began to develop negative feelings about his hobby. It’s been 4 years since we said good-bye to the fish tank. Ernie sold all the fish, coral, and equipment at a fire sale in our basement before we left Indiana. And I’ve made him promise, that while it was beautiful, we won’t have a fish tank again for a long, long time. This was the final iteration of Ernie’s Reef Tank, built into the wall of the basement:

Then Ernie became interested in woodworking. Now this is a hobby that I can get behind- no doubt about it. At the moment my dining room table is planed and joined and in partial assembly in our garage. But in the beginning, this hobby involved many, many purchases of expensive tools in a short period of time and an addiction to ordering wood off the internet. Ernie- and I cannot judge him for this- likes to buy interesting wood just as much as I like to buy fabric and we have a lot of wood stacked up and stored in our garage, plus all the tools and custom work bench on which to use the tools. And since our last two houses have been 2 car garage homes (as opposed to our other houses with 3 garages) I have not parked my car in the garage in several years. This is a picture of the beautiful wooden box that Ernie made for me a couple of months ago:

And now Ernie is a photographer. We started with a Nikon D40 and a 18-55mm lens. Now we are on to a Nikon D80, several lenses, a Flickr obsession, and Ernie has been asked to photograph golf courses for Here’s Hattiesburg magazine here in town. Every free moment Ernie has, he takes pictures. The camera bag and tripod live in his car because he often stops on his way home from work to photograph a beautiful sky or a dilapidated barn full of kudzu. The kids are often the subject of his photos, and me too- although I am admittedly less willing than the kids. Ernie’s quite gifted and he has a really good eye. I enjoy his photographs very much and I often enjoy the weekend drives we take as a family, meandering down back roads, looking for the perfect spot to take a picture. Here’s a barn he photographed yesterday:

Over the years I’ve become much more tolerant and understanding when an obsession strikes. I appreciate that it represents a lot of what makes Ernie wonderful- it shows Ernie’s awesome desire to always be learning new things.

Harder than I expected.

Nigel didn’t finish his homework this week. For the last 3 months he has stopped turning it in regularly for various reasons. His teacher made it clear to him- after she called me- that the next time he failed to turn in his homework, he was going to be issued a “Short Form”.

This morning, Nigel was hysterical because while he did his math homework this week, he never did his language and his plan had been to get up early and do it this morning. But when he opened his backpack, he learned that he didn’t even bring his homework home from school yesterday and there was absolutely no way to pull it off this week.

This is when the begging started. “Mom, please call Mrs. Herring and tell her everything I had to do this week that made me not get my homework done.” (Given that Nigel has played a lot of video games this week, I pointed that out to him and declined.) “Mom, please just write her a note and ask her not to give me a “Short Form”. An aside- it is touching to me that Nigel feels like I can fix everything in his life and he has that level of trust in me that he would even ask.

Unfortunately I had to have the Personal Responsibility talk with him. After we established that it wasn’t anyone else’s fault that Nigel didn’t complete his homework this week- I explained to him that he knew what the consequences were and that he was just going to have to accept the punishment. I told him that situations like this have happened to me before too and sometimes we just have to take the consequences of our choices. We said family prayer and specifically prayed that Nigel would be brave in facing his teacher and that the Holy Ghost would help him today. And then I sent them off to school.

Here’s the crazy part. I almost acquiesced when he was crying and begging me to help him. I wanted to protect him and not see him hurt or be uncomfortable. It was so hard not to intervene on his behalf or offer to go with him when he talks to his teacher. I know that it was important to have him face up to this on his own and that I did the right thing. I even think that I might have said the right things when I was talking to him this morning. It was just so much harder than I ever expected.

I noticed

Last week I got an email from my Ernie. It was a meeting notification from his Outlook informing me that I had been invited to attend “Date Night”. I felt- understandably- a little swept off my feet that after all this time, Ernie would still take the time to ask me out on a date. (And the fact that he was thinking about spending time with me while he was at work, makes it even sweeter!)

So on Friday night, Ernie took me to dinner. It was a new restaurant and the food was delicious (crab cakes, baked brie, asparagus with gorgonzola cheese sauce, grilled shrimp, tender NY strip steak, you know… basically amazing.) And afterwards, we drove with the windows down and heard a band playing, so we found our way to a small concert in the park and got out and meandered until we found a seat. We sat and listened and people watched and had a very nice time.

The weather was perfect, the food was delicious, the conversation was sparkling and the music was good- but here’s what meant the most to me and here’s what I noticed. Ernie intentionally didn’t bring his phone into the restaurant. He picked a restaurant that didn’t have any televisions on the walls. He planned an entire evening that intentionally focused on me. And since my Love Language is Quality Time (and he knows it)- I got his message loud and clear. Ernie was telling me that he loves me. And I noticed. And I love him too!

Rent Check

I heard this today at church:

“Service is how we pay the rent for the space we occupy here on Earth.”

Billy Collins

I am not a poetry reader, but two days ago I happened to hear Garrison Keillor’s Writer’s Almanac on the public radio station I was tuned to while I was on my way to get Max from preschool. Garrison Keillor read the most wonderful poem by Billy Collins. It was called “Forgetfulness”. Here’s a wonderful poem I found today by Billy Collins.

The Lanyard
By Billy Collins
The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.

Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

I have no idea.

I discovered this tonight as I was putting the kids to bed. Suddenly the afternoon of Max and Emmaline playing together so quietly began to make much more sense. I actually thought to myself that today they were getting along unusually well and I was so happy about it. Now I realize that yes they were getting along, but it was the thrill of the forbidden that was bonding them together.

I found this on the floor in Emmaline’s closet tonight:

 

Yes, you’re seeing that correctly. It’s a lunchbox filled to the brim with dirt and planted with a flower, a Barbie, and a mini-Barbie. Inside my house. It was sitting on the carpet. I have no words.

Things My Kids Like

Tonight- only because the time completely got away from me- I told the kids that they could have ramen for dinner. I had a really delicious dinner planned that happily will taste just as good tomorrow night. (Yea for having dinner already taken care of for tomorrow!)

Well, when I told them they could have ramen for dinner you would have thought that I’d told them I’d ordered pizza for dinner or that I’d decided that ice cream cake was going to be the main dish.

They really, really love ramen. Nigel will often ask for ramen in the middle of summer here in Hattiesburg, which- in my opinion- is the equivalent of getting into a sauna at the gym and thinking to yourself, “You know what would be perfect right now? A delicious cup of hot, steamy soup”.

So tonight I was Super Mom because I fed my kids a cheap, nutritionally questionable, ready-in-3-minutes dinner. Here’s to an easy dinner!

So, so cool

Want to know what’s cool?

Having enough money in the bank to pay all the bills and still have some left over.(Ah cash, it’s been awhile).

Max’s love of Kesha songs. And that he sings along with the radio. And that every time Max hears a song with a catchy beat he shouts out: “Mom- it’s our song!!”

Celebrating my 12th anniversary eve and having my mother-in-law comment that “somehow Ernie and I missed the whole 7-year itch thing.” My response to that was that Ernie and I are way too co-dependent to entertain such nonsense as getting tired of each other.

Having all the kids home this week for Spring Break. Also knowing that on Monday 3 out of the 4 kids will be back at school (thank goodness!).

Little Ernie sweeping the stairs and the kitchen floor today.

Emmaline making Buttermilk Biscuits from scratch with me last night.

Nigel telling me that he can feel that his teeth are getting better- thanks to his orthodontic treatments.

Expedia calling me to tell me that our flight home from our June family vacation in California had been cancelled and them booking us on a flight out the next day. Which is what I wanted all along- but it was a lot more money- so I opted to cut the vacation a day short and get the much cheaper flight. Now I get the same price AND the extra day.

Telling the kids that all I wanted for my anniversary was a completely clean house- upstairs and downstairs at the same time- and them actually trying to make that happen for me.

My Ernie’s brilliantly naming no TV, no video games, no handheld video games- as a “blackout”. Now I just announce “blackout” and the kids don’t fight me and they head outside to play.

Committing with my sisters (mine and Ernie’s) to run a half marathon in Disneyworld in February 2012. I’ve already started my couch to 5k program and I’ll add the miles from there!

Deciding that I had “diet fatigue” and opting not to track or count or obsess for awhile about the food going into my mouth. I exercise because it feels good and I eat what sounds good to me. So far I haven’t gained a pound. (Nor have I lost a pound- but I’m holding steady and I’m eating. Double bonus.)

It’s springtime in Hattiesburg and I’ve been in shorts for 3 days now.

Celebrating 12 wonderful years with Ernie.

Liking myself at 34- almost 35- so much more than I did at 24 and 25.

Good friends, nice weather, a fire pit, and marshmallows.

It’s not fun until someone throws up. Right?

In a crazy, spur of the moment insanity- Danielle and I decided to take all of our kids to New Orleans for the day today. It’s Spring Break, we thought, so why not? At this point some of you might be wondering who Danielle is. Easy: she’s my awesome friend who happens to do a mean job of cutting, coloring, and styling my hair. She and I also do Cub Scouts together and her husband Trin gets along famously with my Ernie. Her kids are great, so it was pretty much a perfect fit for a day trip.

We set off this morning with a very general schedule and told the kids that the only thing that was for certain was that we were NOT going to the Aquarium in New Orleans, which costs an astronomical amount per person. WARNING: this post has a tremendous amount of pictures. So if you don’t like looking at adorable children doing cute things- stop reading now.

We spent most of the day in the French Quarter and the weather was perfect. 

Then the kids decided that they really wanted to start a band.

And we discovered Mardi Gras masks- which were awesome at only $2.50 each! (“Yes, OF COURSE you can each choose one!”)

We lunched…

And we ventured down the Riverwalk. Where massively crazy people hang out- like this guy who was literally painting himself blue with an actual can of spray paint. The kids couldn’t get over it- or the fact that you could see his fangs when he flashed them a smile (go ahead and click on the picture of him waving). Ah, the creeps that live in New Orleans.

And then we finished downtown NOLA by heading over to the Cafe Du Monde for some beignets.

Then we packed up and headed to City Park where the kids literally played for 2 solid hours more. At which point we drove home, the kids cried, and as soon as we got back to the house Max threw up. Which tells me that everyone had as much fun as they could possible stand, and then some. And- of course- they are already asking me when we can go back and do it again.

3 Guesses

3 guesses on what we did for dinner last night…

We sat around the fire and roasted all of our food! (I adored the minimal clean-up!)The kids had a great time and Ernie told funny campfire stories. Later our neighbors the Dowdy’s came over and we sat around the fire and talked while all the kids played. It was such a nice way to end a Saturday.