Thoughts on Husbands

After a weekend of reflection about His Needs/Her Needs. I remembered a question I heard once.

“What is the number one thing that husband’s want from their wives?”

No, it’s not sex, silly.

The answer was that a husband wants to be admired by his wife.

I think that this is vital. So many times over the years I have heard women degrade their husbands for being inept at cleaning the house, not knowing the kids schedules, or not being able to multi-task. On an even deeper level, they have complained about their dissatisfaction with the lifestyle their husband provides or have contempt for his level of education.

Obviously there are plenty of examples of husbands who are just plain mean to their wives. But even so, I don’t like it when women- in the name of feminism, or a false sense of “standing up for themselves”- tear their husbands down to make themselves feel better. Not cool.

I think that men are more tender than women. Men do not often have a large support group, like most women commonly have. They don’t get a lot of positive feedback from the people that they interact with. Contrast that with a group of women:

I love your shoes!

Your hair is so cute!

I loved your comment in Relief Society, you are such a great mom!

It’s not that I think that men are social retards, it’s just a fact that men don’t get together, talk for hours while they share their feelings, and give each other compliments and support all day long. That task of loving and supporting and complimenting falls squarely on the shoulders of the wife. Sometimes we forget how sensitive men are, simply because they may not announce everything that worries them. Sometimes we forget that cutting words, even when they seem to be shrugged off and forgotten, can cut a man to the quick. I love reminding other women, and being reminded myself, of how special we are as women, how capable we are, and how amazing it is that we are daughters of God. I want that for men too. I want them to know that they are special and important and irreplaceable. I want them to know that it’s amazing that they are sons of God. I want to be better at saying a sincere “thank you” to good men who deserve to be acknowledged.