Sunday Stray Cats

Ernie got up at 4:25 this morning because he has been assigned to be the high councilman for the Meridian, Mississippi ward, which is an hour and a half away. He had to leave by 5am to be there for bishopric meeting at 6:30am. I got up and made his lunch, because it just seemed highly inappropriate thinking of him swinging through a drive-thru to grab lunch on the way home from representing the Stake President. So, I packed him a little cooler with diet coke (of course), some sandwiches and fruit, and his favorite: raw carrots.

The kids and I had another good Sunday and I actually think that this might become the norm. We got there at 9:02am, right as the bishop was welcoming everyone and the pews were wide open, since no one is ever on time. I sat down with Kim Able and her kids. I had two reasons for sitting with Kim:

1. Her husband is also on the high council and she also sits alone with 4 kids.
2. Her daughter Sarah regularly babysits my kids and they love Sarah.

As soon as we sat down, all my kids abandoned me and promptly meshed in with Kim’s kids. Max even staked out a claim right next to Kim and I was left with a good 3 feet on either side of me. I was feeling badly for Kim and while I was sitting there, trying to figure out a way to discreetly get the attention of my children and have them come back and sit with me- Kim did it. She pulled out the bag of Thomas the Train cars and my kids quietly went bananas over their good fortune. And I thought, “Oh, dear.” Letting my kids play with the Thomas the Train cars basically meant that Kim had done the same thing as feed stray cats. They ignored me for the rest of sacrament meeting.

I had two ingenious thoughts this weekend.

1. On Saturday, with all the hub-bub and drama about cleaning rooms, I got tired of each kid coming and telling me who in the group was not working. While the tattling child, of course, was slaving away. So here’s what I came up with. I told the kids that if they worked, they’d get a reward and if they didn’t they’d get a consequence. But this is the kicker: The other siblings are the ones who decide if you’ve worked or not. I liken it to the college group project where you get a grade from the teachers, but a high percentage of your grade comes from the grade your peers give you.
2. My kids are currently obsessed with Silly Bandz. They keep coming home from school with ones they’ve been gifted by friends and they’ve been begging for some to take to school to trade. Last night I picked up a 24 pack and decided that they could share between themselves. I gave each of them 4 to wear to church today (church is a hot trading place). Little Ernie wanted to know if they were good at church, could they get more when they got home. I said nope, but that each time they were bad, they’d have to give one back to me. I only had to wear one silly band at church today and all in all they behaved very well. :)

The weather is perfect today and Ernie will be home soon. Church was great. I think I’m going to take a nap.

Candlelit Dinners

We had our first candlelit dinner at the very beginning of my blogging venture. Here’s what the candles looked like at the beginning:

Here’s what they look like now:

Last night one of the candles burned so low that it started catching the gold coating on fire. (We decided to blow that one out before dinner ended).

Here are my thoughts on our new dinner routine.

Have we had a sit-down, candlelit dinner every night since we started? -No.

Would I consider it a success? -Absolutely.

This new dinner approach has done several things for our family.

1. It’s helped tremendously with routine. It’s set a clear expectation for the kids that really only took a couple of nights for them to adapt to. They now know that they can’t get up until they are dismissed. They also know that they all are required to help clear the table- and depending on the night- to also help load the dishwasher. They know that we will read our scriptures and have family prayer at the table.
2. It’s created an environment where we actually, consistently read our scriptures. Even on nights when Ernie is working late and I’m too tired to do the whole dinner thing, we still remember to read the Book of Mormon together, in the living room.
3. The kids like the structure. No surprise there since every parenting book I’ve ever read stresses this. But still, it’s cool to see it in action.
4. Dimming the lights and lighting the candles has been a wonderful way to physically limit our family. The rest of the house is essentially dark or dim and the only place that is lit, is the dinner table. This has helped the kids (and Ernie) to stay focused on each other, not what is happening other places.
5. It’s given me a better reason to cook healthy meals. It’s so much nicer to sit down at a nice table with all the food groups. Also the kids seem way more amenable to trying new things when it’s served in a nice dish at a nice table.

It’s only been a couple of months, but it’s an encouraging start. I’m sure this will evolve over time, but I like the direction it’s taking us.

Better

Today, for the first time in over 2 weeks, I felt normal. I felt better. I’ve been fighting what I thought was a bad cold that just happened to be taking a long time to go away and I’ve been really tired. Then Little Ernie got strep again and the doctor said that someone was a strep carrier in the family, and well, it looks like that person was me. So I started on antibiotics 3 days ago and this morning I woke up feeling like myself again:) It’s pretty great. Thanks to antibiotics…

I cleaned the kitchen for the first time in days

I cleaned my bedroom for the first time in weeks

I tried a new recipe for dinner tonight (we had Shredded Beef Tacos and I tried a lovely new marinade recipe for the meat. It was delicious!)

I played with Max and I’ve been in a great mood.

I laid down to take a nap, and found that for the first time in a long time, I didn’t need one. (Instead I read a book for an hour, than I got up.)

Here’s hoping that we can stay healthy at the Smith House for a little while now!

Ernie and Rebecca’s Soundtrack

A song came on Pandora today that brought back a lot of memories for me of Ernie. I loved it and so of course I had to text him and tell him the song and that it made me think of him and that I loved him. Then it got me thinking about how much certain music has meant to me and to him over the years. That and food. As in we remember food that we ate in 10 years ago and we still talk about it. Food memories will have to be another post for another time, though. Here’s my brainstorm about memory music with Ernie… in no particular order of importance:

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic- The Police

This song has been a part of us since before my mission. I love it. Every time I hear it I get sentimental for Ernie.

Foo Fighters- Another Round

Ernie made me a set of mixed CDs so I could rock out in the minivan about a year ago and the first time I heard this song, I wondered if he was trying to send me a message. Here’s the first line:

“When she goes storming out, I run for cover…”

It’s a great song :)

Pretty much any song from U2’s Joshua Tree

A few years ago Ernie and I literally sat in our car in the driveway after a date and sang along to this entire album instead of going inside and relieving the babysitter. Hmmm… U2 or the kids. For a little while we clearly chose U2.

Classic Rock anyone?

The Who. Lynard Skynard. Pink Floyd. What more can I say?

Bluegrass

I am NOT a fan of country/pop music on the radio right now, but listening to Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, Alison Krauss, or the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack with Ernie is a joy.

I Was Brought to My Senses- Sting

This is the song that we danced to at our wedding reception. It was perfect. Pretty much the best song in the world to describe how we both felt after 4 years of courting. And we love Sting. And it’s a beautiful song. That was a great day :)

Death Cab for Cutie and assorted Foo Fighters songs

Right now we’re in a Death Cab for Cutie phase and we super love the Foo Fighters. 

Coldplay

I realize that Coldplay is probably a controversial choice, but there are some songs that I love. Namely: “Swallowed in the Sea”, “Till Kingdom Come” and “Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love”. Our kids adore Coldplay.

Green Day- American Idiot album

Don’t judge. We love Green Day and I love this album a lot. Combine it with Jane’s Addiction and I’m a happy camper. Oooo, and if you add in some Pink Floyd to mellow it out… that’s good times. Ernie and I listen to music like this all day on Saturdays. The kids wish they could watch cartoons instead.

There’s lots more that I haven’t thought of, but I’ll say this. Ernie loves to sing and one of my favorite things about listening to music with him is that he picks out beautiful harmonies. I much prefer listening to music with him than watching TV. Really the only thing better than Ernie’s harmonies are Ernie’s harmonies when his sisters come and visit- since they have heartbreakingly beautiful voices too. Good times at the Smith house when that happens. I hope our kids are absorbing it, despite wishing they could watch TV.

Of all the states I’ve loved before…

I was thinking today of the 4 places that Ernie and I have lived since we’ve been married. Last night when I was scouring my picture files, looking for pictures of my kids and their blankets (so sorry Nigel, that I couldn’t find one of you actually holding your blanket!) it took me down memory lane… from house to house to house to house and it brought back so many memories. First off, I know that this is seriously cliché- but I look so young in Little Ernie’s baby pictures! It really borders on ridiculous. I mean, was I 12 when I had him? I actually thought that I was aging well, until I saw the pictures of my face from 10 years ago, with my skin looking super tight and unlined. I’m only 33 and now I’m convinced that Ernie (who hasn’t seemed to age much at all) and I are going to end up looking like John Edwards and his wife.

Ernie and I got married in 1999, after 4 years of some serious courtship, and lived in Knoxville, Tennessee. I have some wonderful memories of life in Tennessee and I loved getting my degree from UT. We bought a house about 6 months after we got married and I loved that house. It was actually my favorite until this house here in Hattiesburg. I loved the yard a lot. That was the house where I learned how to garden.

Then we moved to our house in Indiana, which was much bigger, but didn’t have such a large yard (which apparently really mattered to me, since I’m mentioning it now). My gardening got even better in that house and Indiana is the place where I learned how to make homemade jam and how to can. Something about the prairies brought out my inner Laura Ingles Wilder.

Kentucky looked like a picture out of Pride and Prejudice. There was a lot about Kentucky that was stressful and difficult, but it was the place where Ernie and I bonded the most. We had a yard that was full shade- which nixed any vegetable gardening plans that I had, but I loved looking out my windows and seeing nothing but trees. Fall in Kentucky was incredibly beautiful and it felt like a gift to me when Max was born in October in Kentucky, with all the beautiful trees.

Mississippi is, so far, a place of love. We’ve moved here and I love my house and I love Ernie’s new job and I love the kids schools. But more importantly than that, I feel like this is a place where The Smiths are loved by people. We’ve been taken in and accepted by good, kind people and yes, it’s really hot here in the summer, but how awesome is it to hang out at the pool with people who love you! I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but we’ll soak up all the love we can get while we’re here.

After Mississippi, who knows where we’ll be. I know that wherever we go, there will be wonderful things to learn and exciting experiences to be had (and gardening to be done)!

Max’s Blanket

Ernie carried Max up to bed tonight, but before he could take Max upstairs he asked a question that gets asked at least 5 times a day at our house:

“Where’s Max’s blanket?”

All of my kids have been “blanket-draggers”. Little Ernie was addicted to his receiving blankets.

Nigel is still highly attached to “Cowboy”.

Emmaline can’t sleep without her pink blanket and she gets mad when I wash it because she likes the way it smells. Yep- the smell. Apparently washing it takes away some aroma that she meticulously cultivates.

And then Max. He has carried his blanket to the point of disintegration. I keep meaning to restitch it so that it doesn’t actually fall apart, but I can’t seem to get it away for him long enough.

The Strep Monster

Saturday

“Mom,” said Little Ernie, “my throat kind of hurts.”

“Well, you seem fine, I’m sure you’re throat is just a little dry.”

Sunday

“Mom,” said Little Ernie, “my throat kind of hurts.”

“Well, you still seem fine, I’m sure you’re throat is just a little dry.”

Monday

“Mom,” said Little Ernie, “my throat kind of hurts.”

“Fine. I’ll take you to the doctor.”

And that’s how I ended up at the doctor’s office again (I swear we have LIVED there the last 6 weeks) looking at what looked to me to be a positive pregnancy test. Apparently the quick strep test is of a similar design. This is Little Ernie’s 3rd time having strep in the last 2 months and I am over it. I have swapped out all the toothbrushes at the appropriate intervals, I have disinfected all the door handles and the game controllers. I have tried to enforce a hands off policy with drink sharing (a little difficult considering Max’s penchant for sipping other people’s drinks). Dr. Dumas informed me that if Little E gets strep a 4th time, the entire family will have to come in and get our throats swabbed to see which one of us is the asymptomatic strep carrier unknowingly infecting the world.

I hate strep throat.

Sunday notes

• Ernie worked a full day yesterday, and had the kids with him at the office for a good part of the morning while I was off at the funeral. He is now passed out in bed, snoring. I don’t think he’s waking up anytime soon.
• I am taking Max over to a friends house so her doctor husband can look in Max’s ears and tell me what he sees. The convenience of it almost makes me wish that Ernie had gone to medical school.
• Emmaline is in a ridiculously good mood today. I wish I could figure out how to repeat this.
• I taught in Relief Society today at the last minute, but felt blessed to be forced to study the lesson in depth.
• Ernie gave his first High Council Sunday talk today. It was on the Atonement.
• Little Ernie was super responsible today and helped me tremendously when church was over.
• Nigel was thoughtful during sacrament meeting, and kept asking me questions about prayer.
• We’re having the Cimino’s over for dinner in a little while and I’m still not totally sure what we’re eating.
• There are 3 women in my ward that need to feel a “Circle of Love” this week. I going to try to be part of those circles- I need to give the love as much as they need to receive it.
• It rained all morning and didn’t get warm until late in the day. I feel like the weatherman lied to me about the high temperatures today.
• I’m considering packing lunches tonight, for school tomorrow. It would certainly make Monday morning easier.
• The kids and I did really well at church today without Ernie. I felt completely calm all through sacrament and I could tell that the kids did too. I think it was a very real miracle.

Mississippi Funerals

Since we moved to Mississippi 9 months ago, I have been to 3 funerals. I think this is a lot considering I’ve only been to a half dozen funerals in my life up until now. Funerals in Mississippi have been an educational experience for me.

The first funeral I attended was 2 weeks after we moved here, a woman that worked at Ernie’s plant was driving one Sunday when her car was hit by a motorcycle and she and the motorcyclist were both killed. This funeral was held in a small town called Prentiss. (A quick aside- because Mississippi is somewhat “off the grid” as I like to call it, GPS readings are often not accurate here so we got horrendously lost). After literally driving on dirt roads Ernie and I arrived in the small town of Prentiss, running 30 minutes late and found the small Baptist church. It was filled to capacity, so we both thought that we would just stand in the back with all the other people that didn’t have a seat. However, since we had called the church for directions, they were expecting us and a woman found us and ushered Ernie and me (in the middle of the service!) down the front aisle, right up to the casket, around the pulpit while the preacher was preaching, and then seated us up on the stage in the choir seats with the deceased woman’s closest friends. There was no good way to blend in since we were the only white people there. So we sat up in the choir seats and listened to probably the most talented keyboardist in the world do an amazing job improvising a sound track to the preacher’s sermon. It was my first introduction to “the Vapor Doctrine” as the preacher kept shouting about how our lives are but a vapor and then they’re gone. The congregation definitely made some noise and there was constant murmur of “amens” and “that’s true” coming from people. As the grieving family approached the open casket we all sang a refrain of “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” and the family went hysterical. Two people fainted and then they had to drag the dead woman’s mother off the casket. I cried even though I’d never met the woman, because it was all just so sad. The sermon offered some hope, but it certainly was not the Plan of Salvation.

The second funeral took place a couple months after the first funeral, at the end of the summer. A supervisor at Ernie’s plant, right at the beginning of first shift, fell to the ground dead. Ernie was there with the AED machine and put the charges on him while everyone else stood there and watched. The paramedics arrived and took him to the hospital where they confirmed that he was dead. The man was in his late 20s and had a great career ahead of him, a fiancée, and a 2 year old son. His family buried him in Oxford, Mississippi which is up in the northern part of the state, so Ernie and I drove 4 hours there and then 4 hours home to attend that funeral. We weren’t alone, there were a lot of people from the plant who attended the funeral and made the drive to pay their respects. This was a well loved man. The funeral was certainly more restrained than the first, and this time Ernie was invited to speak. He quoted scripture and got some “amens” of his own from the congregation. Again the Vapor Doctrine was prevalent in this one and truthfully, this preacher offered a lot less hope than the first one.

The third funeral was the one that I attended today. It was for the mother of a dear friend and this time the funeral was LDS. It was very southern and there were lots of anecdotes about “Miss Jewel” (dear Jewel Crosby who passed on). The church is surprisingly really strong here in southern Mississippi and when we made it to Red Star today- which is a really small town 2 hours from Hattiesburg- the church ended up being on a road called: Morman Trail (no, that isn’t a typo- it was really spelled like that). The thing that surprised me the most was the small LDS cemetery on the side of the small church building. I’ve never seen an LDS church with it’s own cemetery before (I really wish I’d taken a picture!). After the service finished in the chapel, we all walked outside and over to the lawn where the casket was sitting and folded our arms and closed our eyes while they dedicated the grave. I liked it. I liked that it felt so personal- to be surrounded by stones with the names of families that have known each other and married each other for almost a hundred years. I liked that it gave a sense of place. People here are not nomadic like Ernie and I are, and they know who they are, what’s expected of them, and where they will be buried. People from Mississippi marry other people from Mississippi and truthfully the only outsiders who marry in are missionaries who serve here and then come back and marry a girl from one of their areas. People do move here like me and Ernie, but 60% of the people in our ward can claim a direct relation to  80 year old Grandma Trussell who is the matriarch of the Hattiesburg area. Grandma Trussell bears her testimony every month and begins each time by saying, “Isn’t it great to be a Latter-day Saint!”

I know that people like to make fun of the South sometimes and when they do they like to make fun of Mississippi in particular, but I like it here. A lot. And I like that funerals here are community affairs, and treated as an open invitation to express love and support for the grieving family.

Good Week… but TGIF

• The fraud department from my American Express card called to see if I had booked travel through ebookers.com. I had not.
• Emmaline told me that she wants to have 5 kids when she grows up because her primary teacher has 4 children and is pregnant right now.
• Emmaline also told me that when she’s a mom, she’ll quietly invite all her kids to come to dinner, but it’s ok if someone doesn’t want to eat. Also, if her kids ask for different food at dinner, she’ll give it to them.
• I took another nap today. That makes 2 this week. [I’m sorry- I’ve been really tired lately.]
• I think that Max has an ear infection, but I’m not sure. He has a runny nose and he’s been a little fussy (which is actually really fussy for Max) but I’m still on the fence about whether or not he just has a bad cold.
• I’m going out to dinner tonight with one of my girlfriends- at the Olive Garden. Sylvia, don’t judge.
• My kids are pretty addicted to bubblewrap and Cheetos.
• Ernie has had quality problems at the plant all week. He’s already worked over 60 hours this week and he just told me that he has to go to work tomorrow too.
• I am going to a funeral tomorrow.
• Nigel lost a tooth at school two days ago. He told me it didn’t fall out, he pulled it out because it was bothering him.
• I baked cookies for the kids on Wednesday night and then ate 90% of them on Thursday while they were all at school. (Yet another reason that Cookie Wednesday would never work at my house.)
• I’m super excited to be going to Seattle at the end of April! It’s the carrot dangling in front of me right now.
• Everyone has complained around here about how cold this winter had been (which Ernie and I find amusing so we just nod and smile). But I have to be honest- I’m really excited that Sunday is supposed to be a high of 67. :)
• I was sad when Ernie left for work today.
• Max has had Cheetos powder on his face almost all day. I kept wiping his face this morning, then I gave up.
• I was at Walmart this morning, practically in my pajamas, with bed head and no make-up when I ran into a friend and then I prolonged my embarrassment by having a 15 minute conversation with her up by the check-out aisles. She of course was fully dressed with perfect hair and make-up.
• I have had a migraine today. Stupid migraines.
• Sometimes I secretly think that if Ernie really loved me, he would never go to work. Then I remind myself that it’s nice to have money.

Someone the Lord can trust

Today my dear friend’s mother died. Yesterday we spent most of our Relief Society presidency meeting discussing how to help the sisters in our ward who are facing some significant issues. And the day before that, Ernie was set apart in his new calling on the Stake High Council. It’s been a week so far that has caused me some reflection. I’m extroverted, so I like to talk things out as I’m processing ideas and feelings and I’m blessed to have good friends and a patient husband who listen and work with me through my issues. Lately I’ve been thinking that while the things that I’ve been doing as a wife and mother and daughter of Heavenly Father have sufficed up until now, it’s no longer enough. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that I am being pushed in the direction of change. In private talks that I’ve had with friends and other women, I’m finding that other people are feeling what I’m feeling too. So I am working right now on processing the immediate things that I need to do and also on hammering out the big picture. I am trying to be more focused on the basics of the gospel, the simple, daily things that really are the things that matter most. I love the quote at the top of my blog from Julie Beck and the idea that I can get rid of the word “perfection” (since I’ll never be perfect) and instead work on “precision”. I can’t be perfect, but I can be precise.

So far, here’s my short term plan:

• Continue with daily scripture study.
• Regarding visiting teaching, it’s not enough to just go to lunch or say hi at basketball practice or chat in the hallway at church. There needs to be a visit with a prayer and testimonies shared.
• With Family Home Evening, (which we have had for 3 weeks in a row!) there absolutely needs to be time to bear testimonies.
• At every possible moment, identify the Holy Ghost with my kids and share experiences, since they will all feel it differently and they absolutely need to know how Heavenly Father communicates with them.
• Support Ernie in his callings, whatever they may be.
• Have family prayer every day.
• Have companion prayer every day.

Another thought. We went as a family to the Stake President’s office when Ernie was set apart. After we got home I put the kids to bed and stayed with them for awhile to talk about the some things that had happened during the evening. I wanted them to know that I had felt the Spirit. We discussed it together and at one point I told the kids that “Daddy was someone that Heavenly Father trusted”. Emmaline said, “I know! Heavenly Father trusts all the parents in all the world!” and I was able to say, “No, He doesn’t. Heavenly Father can only trust people that keep the commandments.” I told them that we all know that Daddy isn’t perfect, but he tries hard to do what he’s supposed to. Nigel wanted to know if Heavenly Father trusted him too, and I said that of course He does! Every time we keep the commandments we show the Lord that we’re trustworthy. It was such a teachable moment with the kids, but also for me. I love the idea that we can earn the Lord’s trust and that we can become people that He can rely on. I love the concept of free agency and that Heavenly Father will always honor our agency, but that we truly are happiest when we keep His commandments and have earned His trust.

Down Time

After lots of activities and busyness and cousins and late bedtimes and early mornings, here’s how things went tonight:

Dinner

• Campbell’s Tomato Soup
• Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

After Dinner

• PJs and blankets
• Quiet book reading
• 45 min of the Olympics
• Bedtime

It’s so much fun to spend time with family and the kids had a blast, but boy are they tired!

I loved visiting with Sylvia and I love seeing the kids all grow up together. It was a really good visit and Sylvia was very flexible with our schedule, which changed at the last minute a couple of times. It’s been a blessing that we have always lived- at the farthest- 9 hours from family, but most of the time it’s been about 6 hours. The Hattiesburg-Atlanta drive: 5.5 hours

Sylvia’s new hair

Sylvia has become increasingly unhappy with her hair stylist in Georgia, so I told her to that when she got to Hattiesburg, I’d make her an appointment with my fabulous hair stylist: Danielle! Danielle is delightful and I love her. She owns the salon and what's even more fun is that she’s also LDS and attends the same ward as I do. I get to see her a lot :).

Danielle cut Sylvia’s hair today (it looks beautiful) and Sylvia was bemoaning the fact that she’s worried she won’t be able to find a new hair stylist that will be able reproduce the cut (which she loves tremendously). I introduced to Sylvia one of my moving tips:

• As someone who moves a lot (requiring, by default, frequent changes in hair stylists) I always take in example pictures of my own hair.

I’ve had my hair in just about every short haircut imaginable and when I get a good haircut, in whatever style that might be, I always photograph it (front, both sides, and back) and then when I go to a new stylist I take in pictures of the cut that I want them to reproduce, displayed conveniently by me!

Here’s Sylvia’s new look! Doesn’t she look gorgeous?

Good times

The kids played well this morning and got their own cereal (bless them!), which meant that Sylvia and I got to sleep in. I feel like I’ve barely seen Max in the last two days because he’s spent all of his time upstairs with the big kids. Sylvia and I split up today and she took the older kids: Chase, Ernie, and Isabelle to the  movies to see “Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief” and I took the younger kids: Nigel, Lilly, Emmaline, and Max to the McDonald’s Play Place for lunch. The big kids had a really good time at the movies and the little kids did great at McDonalds- I couldn’t have asked for better behaved children.

This was a picture from this morning’s Pow-Wow. Notice that Lilly wouldn’t look at the camera because she was mad.

Max LOVES Aunt Sylvia :)

Emmaline and Lilly have really bonded this trip. Which is awesome, considering how much Emmaline wants a sister her own age!

I have a picture of Max eating lunch and no pictures of Nigel, because he stayed inside the maze almost the entire time we were at McDonald’s.

And then tonight when Ernie got home he lit a fire for Family Home Evening and the kids sat around and roasted marshmallows and played with laser pointers in the smoke. They had a fabulous time and all crawled into bed exhausted and smelling like a campfire :)

Haiku

A haiku in honor of Valentine’s Day candy given out at church today.

 

early morning church

candy, crying, fighting, tears

tired moms and dad

Cousins

Sylvia and the kids got here tonight and I’ve been sick for the last two days. The kids are so excited, but so many things didn’t get done that I would have liked to have taken care of before Sylvia got here.

Is the house clean? No.

Are all the toilets flushed? I highly doubt it.

Are we happy to have Sylvia and the kids here? Absolutely!

Max didn’t stop running around for an hour after they got here.

It’s going to be a fun 5 days!

What?? Snow in Mississippi?

It happened today. Everyone told us when we moved here that it snows in Mississippi maybe once every 10 years. Well, this is what we woke up to:

 

I realize that this is not a lot of snow. I’ve certainly lived with much, much worse- but this small amount of snow is so unusual it shut down our whole town. People were so excited! I drove around this afternoon and I saw more snowmen in yards than I think I ever saw the whole time that we lived in Indiana. Some good friends of ours built a very well planned snow igloo today and they documented the progress on Facebook. Here’s the final igloo:

Isn’t that amazing? It took all of them 4 hours.

Here’s our Bogart- soaking wet and asking to come in after playing all morning outside. I think he misses the snow.

Just to give a little background- the average high in February in Hattiesburg is 64 and the average low is 39. It’s pretty nice. A few days ago it was in the upper 50s and Emmaline picked this out of our yard and brought it to me:

It’s supposed to be in the 50s again tomorrow, so I guess it’s true what they say: If you don’t like the weather here, just wait. It’ll change tomorrow.

Happiness is a Choice

I just finished a meeting with my Relief Society Meeting Coordinator, the totally amazing Heather! And we hammered out the last of the details for our activity next week. We are doing a donation drive for the Christian Women’s Job Corp here in Hattiesburg and we will also be having a Hunger Banquet that night. To top it all off, our keynote speaker will be speaking on the theme: Happiness is a Choice. The entire evening is being billed as “A Night of Gratitude." I love that! I think it’s going to be fun and uplifting evening for the sisters!

Here’s what went on this week at the house:

And does anyone else think that Max is getting ready to potty train? I’ve found him doing this all week:

Almost asleep

I was sitting in bed talking to Ernie on the phone (he's in Arkansas for the night) getting ready to go to sleep when I realized that I almost missed blogging today. The horror! And since the mouse isn't working on my laptop, here I sit at the desktop, writing this blog post in an uncomfortable chair.

Let me backtrack through the day... it will either justify the late blog or highlight my laziness today.

6:30-9:30pm- RS presidency meeting (our first one in awhile since Jenny's daughter's wedding). I will say that my brain works on half-speed after 8pm. Thank goodness our meetings are ususally in the day.

3:30-6:30pm- homework and last minute Valentine's prep because guess what? All the party's have been last minute moved up to tomorrow instead of Friday. Why, you may ask? Hattiesburg is supposed to get up to 6inches of snow on Friday and they moved the parties in anticipation of cancelled school. Lots of Valentines to address and lots of cookies and treats to bake for the parties.

1:30-3:30pm- I watched the "Lost" and "The Good Wife" episodes that I had on the DVR while Max napped (delightful!)

11:45am-1:15pm- drove to Ernie's office, waited in Ernie's office, talked to Ernie in his office, and then drove home. Ernie needed clothes for his business trip.

10:30-11:30am- took my time taking a shower and getting dressed. Max and I played :)

8:30-10:30am- this is when I should have blogged today, since right now I can't remember a thing that I did for these two hours!

6:00-8:30am- got up, got Ernie out the door. Got the kids up and then drove them to school. Much crying and drama occurred this morning (with the kids, not me and Ernie).

A Tale of Two Companies

When Ernie came home from work tonight he summarized a conversation that he had with his boss today. Ernie’s new company, Kohler, has been pleased with Ernie and they have identified him as someone that they would like to stay with the company long-term. Ernie’s boss asked him how things were going and if Ernie was happy or if he was a “flight risk”. Ernie’s response was that he was very happy and that in fact, we are so happy here his only concern is uprooting me from Hattiesburg when the time comes. He explained to his boss how happy I am here, but that really, I’m just happy he’s no longer at his old company. [For an attempt at anonymity, let’s call the old company “Old Company”]. As Ernie was recounting this conversation to me, I started to think about it and he’s exactly right! I do love it here in Mississippi very much, but mostly I’m just happy that he’s no longer at the “Old Company”.

Old Company:

• Ernie’s phone rang day and night (most nights easily up until 10pm) and definitely 7 days a week.
• Crucial emails also arrived 24/7, with Ernie’s cell phone buzzing with email notifications in the middle of the night and always on Sundays- right in the middle of our church service.
• I will not blame the company for this entirely, but due to the severe recession in the industry there was always a feeling of mild panic and a little bit of inevitable doom.
• Very, very little positive feedback. Some of this was Ernie’s boss, who managed out of fear, and some of this was culture. But Ernie was never told (until the very end, when he resigned and the president of the company called to ask him to stay) that he was needed and that there was a place for him.
• Again, not the company’s fault per se, but wage cuts along with forced unpaid leave did not make for a happy bank account.
• Fractured company leadership. For example, because of political maneuverings, the company had two CFO’s on the org chart when Ernie left back in May. Why? Who knows with that one.
• Ernie worked every Saturday.
• Again, this one is not the fault of the company, but Ernie got his MBA while we were there and so when he graduated in May 2008- he promised me that he would be around again. Then the market crashed 2 months later and his industry fell apart. So my promised respite never came.

New Company (Kohler):

• Ernie’s phone sometimes buzzes in the evenings but now it doesn’t make him jump. I feel like one of Pavlov’s dogs because I am still conditioned to view his phone as a bearer of doom and bad news and it amazes me that he can wait to see who called or what the email said.
• The first few weeks after Ernie started the job, he kept checking for important emails on the weekends. For the most part there weren’t any. Nobody expects a weekend reply from Ernie anymore.
• I find Kohler to be a much more positive environment. That can probably be mostly attributed to the fact that they think Ernie is the best thing since sliced bread and so that makes me automatically like them a lot. 
• Ernie certainly gets negative feedback in this company, but there is always a purpose, a lesson, or a reason behind it. There doesn’t seem to be any fear mongering. Not yet, anyways.
• Kohler is a privately held company (still run by the Kohler family), which might have it’s drawbacks, but at least you know who’s in charge and they really seem to care about their people.
• Ernie is home every Saturday. He’s worked here for 9 months and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s gone in on a Saturday.
• Ernie is now here for me. For reals. He comes home most nights for dinner, and even the nights he’s late, he’s still home around 7pm. I feel like our quality of life is so much better.

Heavenly Father knew what we needed and He helped us. I have no other explanation for how Ernie was able to find not just another job, but a better job, in the middle of one of the worst economies in 100 years. I don’t know why we have been blessed this way, when so many other people we know and love have not. All I know is that this experience has caused both Ernie and I to feel a deep sense of gratitude and given us an increased desire to draw even closer to the Lord so that we can be the people that He wants us to be.

Decorating for random holidays

I consider Valentine’s Day to be a random holiday- along with Halloween, Easter (the bunny and the candy part, not the Resurrection), and the Fourth of July. These are holidays that I until recently I did not choose to decorate for or really celebrate very much. Ernie and I have never really been into Valentine’s Day (since every day is Valentine’s Day in our marriage [you know I’m kidding!])- most especially since our anniversary, which is a much bigger deal to us, is just a few weeks after Valentine’s Day. But as the kids have gotten older, it’s been fun to make it fun and special for them.

Today I cleaned and decorated the house for a Valentine’s week celebration! I went to the dollar store and got some fun stuff and then shopped my house for the rest. The kids were so excited when they got home from school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this morning I sewed some hearts onto white flour sack dishcloths (my favorite) to use in the kitchen.

Tonight we had Family Home Evening and continued with the theme of Love. The house now looks like it’s been heart attacked with doilies and scrapbook paper hearts. I’ll put those pictures up tomorrow, but for now- here’s one of the kids have a blast with scissors, paper, and tape!

Overheard

While I was  watching Pride and Prejudice and Little  Ernie was in the kitchen doing his homework…

Ernie: Wow. Mr. Darcy must be a pretty famous person in this movie. It’s no wonder everyone wants to dance with him and marry him!

After finding the kitchen table and Max’s hands coated with hot pink nail polish…

Me: MAX!!!!

Max: Sorry, Mommy. 

After I laughed when Emmaline told me that she is going to adopt a daughter and name her “Sparkle”

Emmaline: (starting to cry) But mom, I don’t know what I am going to name my kids!

After finding lipstick smeared all over Max’s hands, the bathroom counter, and all my other tubes of lipstick…

Me: MAX!!!!

Max: Sorry, Mommy.

A private conversation between Nigel and Daddy…

Nigel: Dad, can we have candy to help us be good at church today?

Ernie: Nigel, I don’t have any candy to give you.

Nigel: (who found the forgotten leftover Halloween candy) Don’t worry, Dad- I have candy. And Dad, I brought this to you discreetly so Mom doesn’t have to know.

Between Me and Ernie, while laying in bed and falling asleep…

Ernie: I love you.

Rebecca: I love you too.

Things I love about me

Of course I wish that I was thinner, prettier, richer, etc.- but those things don’t matter as much to me as the fact that right now, just the way I currently am, I am happy and I like myself. One of my dear friends, Joni Lynn, who is constantly getting her scrapbook pages published, did this great scrapbook page years ago on the things that she liked about herself. It was her first published page. This list isn’t quite the same as her scrapbook page, but I think that the idea is the same. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to acknowledge your own goodness and appreciate what makes us unique and special and a child of God.

1. I love that I love my kids (I never really thought much about being a mother and it is still a wonder to me how easy it is to love my kids).
2. I love that I am more charitable than I was 5 years ago.
3. I love that I have a strong marriage and that I recognize that it takes work to make it strong and then some more work to keep it that way.
4. I love that I can adapt quickly to a new location.
5. I love that I can make new friends.
6. I love that I feel like I am finally beginning to see, in a very small way, what Heavenly Father sees when He looks at me and when He looks at my family (pretty much it’s with a lot more love and support than I’d realized).
7. I love that I can look back and see that I have chosen my family and my testimony at crucial moments.
8. I love that I see the glass as half-full.
9. I love that I can succinctly articulate how I feel (helpful for maintaining #3).
10. I love that I know how to cook.
11. I love that I’m starting to develop patience.
12. I love that I served a mission honorably and that while I served, I worked hard and gave my whole heart.
13. I love that I graduated from college and that I graduated magna cum laude. I worked hard for that.
14. I love that despite all the ups and downs with all the adult family relationships (on the Smith side and also the Williams’ side), I still feel deeply committed to the fact that we are all sealed and these are eternal relationships- and that it is ok if some relationships progress more slowly than others. What matters is that there’s progress and love.
15. I love that I hold a current temple recommend. 
16. I love that I can sew pretty much anything.
17. I love that I can grow a pretty awesome vegetable garden and that I can do some great landscaping with perennials.
18. I love that I don’t feel complacent. I feel driven to improve and increase the things that matter most.
19. I love that I have blogged daily for 41 days.
20. I love that I am an informed voter.
21. I love that my husband is my best friend.
22. I love that my first instinct is to protect my Ernie (not that he needs my protection, but I feel very defensive if anyone criticizes him) and that my loyalty to him is first and foremost.
23. I love that I’ve read the scriptures enough that my prayers are often answered through specific verses or lessons in the Book of Mormon.
24. I love that I’ve started to make peace with my perfectionist self (letting go has been hard, because it’s meant being honest with myself and acknowledging that sometimes I fail. Badly.) It’s liberating to accept that tomorrow I can try again and Heavenly Father still loves me.
25. I love that more often than not I haven chosen to be happy.

Things I love about Ernie

• Ernie is a phenomenal kid and when he was born, he became my “little buddy”- I love those memories.
• Ernie is very emotional and those emotions make him very attached to his siblings and his parents.
• Ernie loves a good game of Monopoly, with any person he can find!
• Ernie is obsessed with science and knows way more about black holes than I ever will.
• Ernie will do just about anything for a Sonic Cream Slush.
• Ernie has discovered the joy of reading and it’s been wonderful to introduce him to some amazing children’s books.
• Ernie makes friends easily.
• Ernie is not afraid to stand up for what he believes is right. (i.e., the time that he told his friend Jacob [who had essentially set up a 3rd grade “fight club”] that he would not fight the other “crew” at recess even though he was worried that Jacob wouldn’t be his friend if he spoke up).
• Ernie is somewhat risk averse, thank goodness. At least one boy will be the voice of reason when he and Nigel are teenagers.
• Ernie remembers other people’s names way better than anyone else in our family.
• Ernie is really good at putting Max to bed and at bedtime Max sometimes prefers Ernie over me or Daddy.
• Ernie likes to read the scriptures.
• Ernie is a master of the XBox 360 as well as the Wii.

Ernie has grown with me on my motherhood learning curve, thank goodness he is forgiving! I can’t imagine our lives without him in our family.

Things I love about Nigel

• Nigel is very good at articulating what he needs (i.e. he will specifically ask for time alone with mom or dad, if he feels like he needs that)
• Nigel is a wonderful big brother to Max and Max clearly adores him.
• Nigel has a really great sense of humor and a good sense of comedic timing
• Nigel loves video games!
• Nigel can make amazingly realistic sound effects- cars, animals, thunder… you name it, he can mimic it!
• Nigel loves to spend time with me in the kitchen while I cook, and I love that.
• Nigel is very sensitive to other people’s feelings and he makes a conscious effort to avoid hurting other people’s feelings.
• Nigel wants to be a Dad when he grows up.
• Nigel has very soft skin :)
• Nigel loves to sing and has a great ear for music.
• Nigel was shy as a toddler, but he has turned into a very self-confident and out-going kid.
• Nigel works hard in school and due to his diligence, he has made tremendous progress in reading and spelling.
• Nigel loves to climb. When he was a baby I once found him climbing on top of the refrigerator!
• Nigel loves to spend time with his family and tells me often that he likes to be at home with us.

I can’t imagine our lives without Nigel! We are so lucky that Heavenly Father sent him to be in our family.

Things I love about Emmaline

I’ve been worried since I dedicated the last post to Max, that the other kids would think that I didn’t love them the same amount! Especially since Emmaline and Nigel are constantly fighting to achieve a perfect “state of fairness” equilibrium. So I will be blogging all the things that I love about each of the kids for the next 3 days! Which brings me to Emmaline (who is awesome!) and here are just a few of the things that I love about her.

• Emmaline loves being a girl. A lot!
• Emmaline is incredibly passionate about the things that matter to her.
• Emmaline has a very funny sense of humor and loves to laugh.
• Emmaline really loves to laugh at her own jokes and stories, she often can’t finish what she’s saying because she is laughing so hard about what she is about to say!
• Emmaline loves to feel valued.
• Emmaline loves to give verbal affirmations (I am daily told that I am beautiful).
• Emmaline loves to be included in whatever it is that Ernie and Nigel are doing, she really hates to feel left out and she loathes being alone.
• Emmaline doesn’t like to be away from me all day. She tells me often that she wishes that she could be with her parents all day.
• Emmaline is a stellar student and loves being the self-appointed “room mom” (i.e. she’s bossy) for her teacher and all the other kids.
• Emmaline is genuinely prompted by the Spirit at church and she listens to his promptings.
• Emmaline has a natural hair color that a lot of women pay for!
• Emmaline is tender hearted and thinks of others.
• Emmaline loves any type of clothing that has sparkles, glitter, hearts, or flowers on it.
• Emmaline is the only other female in the house and we have to stick together!

I love my little Emmaline! We are so lucky to have her in our family.

Things I love about Max

Max isn’t feeling well today, love his little heart, so he spent most of the day wanting me to hold him or snuggle him. Even though he wasn’t feeling well he was still in a good mood and it got me thinking about all the things that I love about Max!

• Max likes to go to the bathroom with me during the day so I don’t get lonely.
• Max always helps me pull my pants up when I’m finished going to the bathroom
• Max flushes the toilet for me, so that I don’t have to.
• Max sings along (like a howling dog) when the dogs in the pound are singing together in Lady and the Tramp.
• Max likes to give a lot of kisses. He always kisses my fingers and likes to kiss both of my cheeks and then my mouth.
• Max loves to get lots of kisses. He is obsessed with putting his feet in my face so that I will kiss them.
• Max is borderline obsessed with Goodnight Moon.
• Max is completely obsessed with “fuzzies”, which are Q-tips that he loves to rub while he sucks his finger.
• Max loves to suck the pointer finger of his left hand.
• Max adores Nigel and loves to be chased by him or to chase after him.
• Max loves to burp. Every time he does he laughs at himself.
• Max loves our cat Percy. Percy usually tolerates Max.
• Max loves to be outside with the big kids.
• Max really loves dirt. Anytime, anywhere. Dirt is only made better when accompanied by a kitchen spoon to help him dig better.
• Max doesn’t complain very often about being in his car seat and I really appreciate that.
• Max loves his Daddy so, so much.
• Max is very afraid of thunderstorms.
• Max doesn’t know a stranger, especially if that stranger looks like they could be a grandpa.
• Max is learning how to pray and says “Heavenly Father” in the cutest way.
• Max is truly my friend.

Thank goodness Heavenly Father sent us Max! We are lucky to have him in our family.

Cease to Anger

For Family Home Evening tonight (huge disclaimer here: we haven’t had FHE in months, because I am a terrible parent) we used the Friend and went through the quiz that was in this month’s issue. It was a quiz entitled “Cease to Anger” and it is designed to help each child (and parent) evaluate how patient and forgiving they are (forgiving I am good with, patient… not so much). The quiz was good and the kids enjoyed thinking about the right answers to the hypotheticals, but the best part of the evening was at the end. Ernie told the kids that there were things in his life he wanted to be better at and he asked them to think about what they wanted to improve in their own lives. Emmaline was cute and didn’t totally understand what he was asking, so I asked her to think about when she is at church and in primary- what are the things that when she hears about them, she thinks “I need to do that”. Here are the answers from tonight. I was impressed with the level of self-awareness in the answers that each child gave.

Big Ernie: wants to be more mindful of the finances.

Rebecca: wants to be better at showing love to the kids and not being cranky.

Little Ernie: wants to do better at controlling his emotions, specifically his temper.

Nigel: wants to work on being friends with Emmaline.

Emmaline: wants to be more reverent at church, specifically by being a good listener and not interrupting.

Max: is really cute and only needs to get better at giving Mommy kisses and hugs!

Tonight went well enough that I actually think we might have Family Home Evening again next week!