Month at a Glance

This month has been amazing, wonderful, busy, and happy. Here’s the month at a glance:

December 1- Zone Conference Lunch for the missionaries. Gym set up and decorated, turkey roasted (mine was 1 of 4), 60 missionaries happy and fed.

December 2- Bridal Shower- for a sweet sister who got married and baptized on the same day the week before.

December 3- lots and lots of cleaning, shopping, agonizing, for the work Christmas party to happen the next day at my house.

December 4- Kohler Christmas Party. 50 people RSVP’d (100 were invited), my dear friend Amanda “catered” for me (Sam’s Club provided all the food). Fire pit, hot chocolate, mood lighting, surprisingly delicious food, awesome dessert tower. Lots of people coming and going. Success. Completely exhausted when last guest left.

December 5- taught in Relief Society. Assigned topic: Inviting the Savior Into Our Homes. First Presidency Christmas Devotional that night.

December 6- Orthodontist Appointment for Nigel. The first of many.

December 7- My first experience with a Vitamix blender. Wow!

December 8- I’m pretty sure I attempted to clean my house this day.

December 9- Relief Society Christmas Dinner- this was a day where I spent the entire day at the church. Lots and lots of work. Lovely evening, good food, good company, and beautiful decorations, clean-up. Emmaline also had a dentist appointment in the afternoon where the dentist informed me that due to playing “Dead Man” on the trampoline, Emmaline’s two front teeth needed to be removed.

December 10- Ernie’s parents arrived for the weekend.

December 11- Grandparent’s Day at the Smith House. Breakfast with Santa in the morning at church and dinner at night just the grown-ups. Cajun food- Big Ernie was in love with the crab cakes.

December 12- Church with the in-laws, turkey dinner that night.

December 13- In-laws say good-bye and Rebecca has some suspicious congestion. Nigel goes to the Orthodontist again. Emmaline does not come home on the bus with the boys and Rebecca spends 20 panicked minutes on the phone tracking her down. Emmaline apparently fell asleep shortly after getting on and the substitute bus driver didn’t know her stop. Emmaline arrives home and goes directly to the dentist to have both front teeth removed.

December 14- Rebecca goes to the dentist for herself and has a cavity. Rude. Cub Scout Pack Meeting at night. Rebecca’s suspicious congestion is starting to be accompanied by really bad chills and fatigue.

December 15- Rebecca has the flu. Kids eat pizza for dinner.

December 16- Rebecca has the flu. Kids eat cold cereal for dinner.

December 17- Rebecca has the flu. Kids eat McDonald’s for dinner. Rebecca calls Sylvia and cancels the planned visit with Sylvia and her kids this weekend. Little Ernie wakes up in the middle of the night throwing up.

December 18- Rebecca has the flu. It’s Saturday so Ernie helps. A lot. Rebecca starts on the Christmas Cards.

December 19- Ernie is the high council speaker in Columbia Ward and we go as a family. Rebecca works some more on the Christmas Cards.

December 20- last day before Christmas Break. Rebecca purchases all last minute gifts, stocking stuffers, etc. (Thank you to the Dollar Store for making that easy!) Ernie goes out of town right before Christmas. Rebecca wasn’t happy. The Christmas Cards (147 of them) make it to the Post Office.

December 21- half day for the kids and they are over the moon to be out of school! Max wakes up in the middle of the night throwing up.

December 22- Ernie’s out of town and Rebecca is a zombie from being up while Max threw up from 1am to 6am. Cold cereal for dinner again.

December 23- Ernie comes home!

December 24-  Christmas Eve at the Street Farm. Hay rides, lunch, good conversation, lots of guns, old friends, exhausted kids. It was a perfect way to spend Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve night, too many presents to wrap, but so much fun to make magic happen!

December 25- Christmas Day- wonderful! So much fun to watch the kids open their presents. Best part was when they gave each other hugs because they were so excited for the others to get the gifts that they wanted. Ernie and Nigel: Nintendo DSi’s. Emmaline: Barbie Dream House. Max: a ride-on battery operated motorcycle. Steak dinner that night and every child made one of the dishes. My Ernie: gnocchi and 4 cheese sauce, Me: green salad; Little Ernie: steaks; Nigel: rolls, Emmaline: jello with cool whip, Max: helped me with the salad.

December 26- church and Elder’s for dinner.

December 27- date in the afternoon with Ernie :) True Grit and sushi for dinner, just the two of us. Sylvia and her kids and Melanie and her kids arrive for a visit. (the visit I postponed when I was sick with the flu).

December 28- Fun Cousin Day with my kids, Sylvia’s kids, and Melanie’s girls (Natalie and Madison) taking over the house. Ernie gets major brownie points for watching all the kids except Baby Madison while Sylv, Mel, Baby Maddie, and I went to Chili’s for dinner and some grown-up conversation.

December 29- the cousins all went home and my kids were so sad. Ernie had a consultation with the Urologist (is that TMI? or just appropriate after having 9 kids in the house for 2 days?)

December 30- Ernie decided to have a self-appointed “take your kid to work day” today and Little Ernie spent the morning with Ernie at his office and then at lunch I swapped Ernie for Nigel and Nigel is spending the afternoon.

Of course, in the middle of all these happenings there was laughing and friends and neighbors and lots of saying Merry Christmas and driving around to look at lights and most especially, lots of feeling gratitude for the Savior’s birth and ministry. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

#792

Reason #792 for Why I Love Ernie:
Max was sobbing this morning as Ernie was walking out the door for work. Max kept begging to “go Daddy’s work”- it was really pitiful. While I was trying to distract/soothe Max, Ernie turned around (he was already outside the door) and said that he could take Max into work with him if I could then drive to the plant and pick Max up after I did the school drop-offs with the older kids. (Sounded good to me!) I cannot tell you how happy Max was when Ernie said, “Alright Max! Let’s go!”
When I got to the plant at 7:45am, Max was happily pushing a toy Kohler truck around Ernie’s office while Ernie was at his desk answering emails. I love that Ernie is such a good Dad.

Guilt

I’m feeling insanely guilty for not blogging ONE SINGLE DAY yet in December. I will preface my guilt though, by saying that every day has just been so busy. [Christmas parties and other similar shenanigans.] I’m not Grinchy at all- just no time. Now I’m in a hurry to get all the Christmas Cards addressed and mailed and THEN… I will quietly sit down with a delicious cup of Peppermint Hot Chocolate, a comfortable blanket, and relax while I type up a wonderful blog post with all the appropriate updates.

Until then.

It finally happened.

I’ve been waiting a long time for the day when one of my children was going to walk in the door from school and announce that they had a big project due- the next day. It happened this week. I actually got more than a day’s notice about the Reading Fair Project that was due- I got two day’s notice.

Tonight I quested for a tri-fold board. I went through two glue sticks. I helped Ernie type up and edit what he wanted to say. I sent him to bed and then I glued and cut and glued some more. And the whole time I kept thinking, “This kid better get into medical school”.

Ernie was sweet, and he apologized and told me how good it makes him feel when I help him. And I was humbled and I looked at him and remembered what he was like as an infant. Now he’s all grown up and forgetting big projects that are due at school. It’s the circle of life, people.

And just in case you’re wondering, he did his project on Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth. A very funny book, according to Ernie.

21 Days

Ernie IV has been introduced to the concept of “21 Days”. As in, it takes 21 days to make a habit.

I think this concept has struck such significant a chord with him because he is a child who craves order and structure and routine. When he was a baby, and even a toddler, I could tell you his schedule down to the half hour- he was that predictable. Naturally, this predictability would mean that any interruption to the schedule would guarantee a melt down.

Now Ernie’s grown up and he’s 10. He’s developed a great deal of self control, but he still craves order, predictability, and routine.

Back to the 21 Days. Every single thing he’s heard at church or at home today- that he likes- he’s said, “I’m going to do that for 21 days!”

Just now I heard him in his room shouting at his siblings, “Let’s not fight for 21 days so we can make a habit of not fighting!”

And I thought, “If only…”

Turkey Comas

Yesterday I made the best turkey I have ever made. It was a Butterball and I watched the temperature of the bird very, very carefully, I basted it faithfully, and it was basically amazing. The leftovers today have been divine.

A few of my favorite things about Thanksgiving:

• Mashed Potatoes (my very favorite)
• Pumpkin Pie
• The delicious smells in the house
• Staying home all day

The kids had a great time yesterday. We had the Painter family join us for the day and since they have 6 kids and we have 4 kids- you could certainly say that it was a kid-centric dinner. There was much running around outside for the kids. There was much fun and laughter from the adults.

Best thing about the Day After Thanksgiving:

• Black Friday Shopping

Yes, this morning I went out shopping. I didn’t get up at 3am or 4am or 5am. Nope, I slept in until 7am, then I got up and eventually made my way out the door about 8am. I still got some really great deals, thanks to Toys R Us and Target. (Mostly Toys R Us). The very best thing of all is that I am now completely finished with the kids shopping. All that’s left is some stocking stuffers for my Ernie and I am officially done!

And the Christmas decorating has begun. Sigh. I love my house decorated for the holidays, I just really hate that it takes me two solid days to get it all done! I started today and after unpacking everything, and then surveying the damage- I looked at Ernie and told him I was going to take a nap. And I did. And it was way better than hanging garland.

It’s possible…

It’s possible that this is what my kids ate for dinner.

And then again for breakfast the next day.

But, hey. We’re on vacation, right?

True Love

Nigel’s found his True Love.

He told me in the car on the way to the dentist.

Her name is Paige. She has long brown hair and she gave him a present at school today (a pencil).

He gave her a present in return (a pencil).

He wants to bring her a really nice present to school tomorrow, but mostly he wants to know when it’s okay to say “I Love You”. Because according to Nigel, it would be “really bad” if he told her he loved her and then she broke up with him. He thinks that would be weird.

I was remarkably calm through the entire conversation and I resisted the extreme urge to start giggling. I did, however, calmly stress to him that there really is no need whatsoever for 2nd graders to be saying “I love you”.

Best moment of the day.

The kids and I went to Walmart tonight to get Emmaline a cardigan that is acceptable under the new school uniform policy. It’s cold now and despite her drawer full of adorable cardigans, she does not own one that is solid black or navy.

While I was digging around looking for her size, I heard a man start to laugh. I looked up just in time to see Max- shirtless- attempting to try on an item of clothing.

The best part about it was that Max refused to put his own shirt back on and then spent the rest of the shopping trip riding in the shopping cart (his punishment for not putting his shirt back on) with no shirt on- causing lots of other people to giggle as we passed by.

The whole time I thought, “Well, it’s probably alright. I mean, we do live in Mississippi after all.”

Circle of Life

You will not believe this.

I am serious.

Last night I made Turkey Pot Pie for dinner and I served it with a Spinach Salad and sliced up Zucchini Bread.

And each and every one of my children raved about how delicious it was and Nigel of all children actually told me that he wishes that every night we could eat such delicious food and have a dinner like that where he likes everything on the table.

Seriously? Obviously I am thrilled, but my kids usually complain to the extreme about a casserole type dish like a Pot Pie.

It must mean they’re growing up. Which made me think about how they’re actually growing up a little too fast for my taste, and then I remembered Little Ernie’s wise counsel to me when he was 5 years old. When I told him he was growing too fast and that I probably was going to have to stop feeding him- he looked at me and sighed, “Mom- you eat, you poop, you grow. It’s the circle of life.”

Thankful Thursday

I’m thankful…

• For my dishwasher, my washer and dryer, my refrigerator, and my vaccuum. They are, without a doubt, the unsung heroes at my house!
• For a car that runs.
• For my wonderful husband who changed the brake pads in under 15 minutes on the aforementioned vehicle and can fix almost anything on both of our cars.
• For my Kindle, which now lives permanently in my handbag and keeps me from being bored when I find myself stuck somewhere with nothing to do at random times during the day.
• For my new handbag. It’s bigger than any handbag I’ve carried up until now and I should’ve gone up to this size years ago. I am madly in love with this style and pattern.

• For our new cat Sugar- who keeps my kids happy and is less demanding of my time than our previous cat Percy.
• For our wonderful friend Miriam and the wonderful family pictures she took of us.
• For surviving the family picture shoot and for the fact that we look happy to be taking the pictures. I’m happy to accept that fiction.

• For the pizza place that we went to after the family picture shoot where I could sooth my nerves with cheese and carbohydrates.
• For Nigel working so hard to stop sucking his thumb so that he can start his orthodontics.
• For teachers who call me to tell me that my kid won’t stop talking in class. While I’m not happy about getting the call- I like to be informed.
• For a company that tells my husband how much they appreciate his hard work. That is much, much appreciated by me.
• For warm weather. (It’s going to be a warm and sunny 83 degrees this afternoon).
• For enjoying the comforts of a comfortable home and full bellies.
• For Bogart, my faithful and loyal border collie.
• For Emmaline and her insistence on being a princess.
• For my mother-in-law, who made Emmaline’s Christmas dress (a giant, poofy princess creation) again this year and it weighs 4 pounds.

• For the upcoming holidays.
• For having a husband with a sense of humor and kids who love to laugh.

That explains it…

Subject: Max

Time: 5:17pm

Caption: So that’s why he wouldn’t stop crying! Max was a mess this afternoon. The tears, the drama, the constant begging for me to pick him up. (Not his usual mode of operation at all!). So I shouldn’t have been surprised that 8 minutes after setting him on the couch- so I could drain the boiling water off the pasta and not worry about burning the crying child with his arms wrapped around my legs- I walked over to get him and found him passed out.  He slept all through dinner, woke up, and then went back to bed an hour later. Max isn’t sick- he’s just gone a couple of days without a nap and life just got the better of him today. It’s okay- I totally understand. Life gets the better of me sometimes too.

Words to Live By

A story was told at church today that really struck me. It was a simple illustration of how the choices we make when we are young- the ones that seem like absolutely nothing at all at the time- can direct the path that we take as we move along through life. The talk given was on agency and the story revolved around the speaker’s seemingly small decisions to keep the Sabbath Day holy. He shared a couple of the small decisions he made early on that led to later on down the road- when life was significantly harder and more stressful- and the man was in dental school with a wife and small children, and he found that his previous choices had created for himself a pattern that allowed him to maintain Sunday as a day of rest. A day to spend with his family and to meditate- instead of a make up day to study or get other things accomplished. He shared what a blessing that had been in his life.

The man spoke plainly and he spoke the truth- so what he said really struck me as a profound example of the importance of small, consistent choices in all that we choose to do. It was a reminder to me that it matters how we spend our free time and it matters how seriously we approach daily prayer and scripture study. It also was a reminder to me that I need to be much, much better.

Who wants to be a Cowgirl?

Emmaline has a new hero (and it’s not me).

At school today Emmaline had the privilege to stand in line for a personally autographed picture of “Miss Mississippi High School Rodeo 2010” Mary Catherine Reynolds. Emmaline was BEYOND impressed. She carefully folded the autographed picture multiple times for safe keeping and when her friend on the bus tore it, she protected it until she could lovingly tape it back together as soon as she got home.

She hung it on her bulletin board, where only her most prizes possessions go. Emmaline complimented me by telling me that my “teeth are almost as white as the lady’s teeth in the picture!”- “they’re only a little darker”.

I have mixed feelings about her idealization of a pageant princess (albeit a cowgirl princess). I have issues with pageants in general and (in my opinion) their objectification of women- but after thinking about it, I think that this girl today probably just looked like a real life Barbie doll to Emmaline and that it’s probably not a sign of a Emmaline’s future pageant career.

3 things

1. Yesterday Elder Ingram from the Quorum of the Seventy attended our sacrament meeting. He was interesting and he spoke directly to me when he said that it is our responsibility to Go Out and Rescue. I’ve been thinking about this one a lot and how it relates to me, Ernie, the kids, our families, our neighbors, the other members of our ward and what the Lord expects of me.

2. Ernie and Nigel very nearly avoided a terrible car accident on their way home from Ernie’s speaking assignment yesterday. I’m so thankful they were protected (Ernie glanced in the rearview mirror seconds before the accident would have happened) and that Ernie’s reaction time was fast enough to get out of the way.

3. Not to brag or anything, but I seriously feel like I won the lottery by getting the four kids that I have! If I could have picked- even knowing, or maybe especially because of knowing then what I know now- I for sure would have picked these four kids.

Max Had a Birthday!

Our little baby- that sweet, cuddly little guy- turned 3 today!

When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth baby (Max), I was certain that I was having a girl. Not because I was sicker, or because I had a spiritual prompting. No, I thought I was having a girl because I was certain that Heavenly Father truly understood me and He knew my need to have conveniently paired children for bedroom sharing. 2 boys, 2 girls- it was going to be perfect. Obviously that didn’t happen and needless to say, Heavenly Father did truly understand me. He knew that I needed Max much more than I needed conveniently paired children.

Max has been a joy to our entire family since the day he was born. I can say that in all honesty. Max completed our family and all of us are better for knowing him. He’s a fiesty thing these days, but he’s still incredibly sweet. He has followed me around the house today, so happy about all the birthday preparations, whispering, “I love you Mommy”. Max likes to introduce me to people and he usually says, “Hey! This is my Friend! Her name Mom!”

Max ADORES his Daddy. He also adores Ernie, Nigel, and Emmaline. Max loves Buzz Lightyear and motorcycles. Trucks, trains, and cars. He really loves preschool. He likes to go places. He likes to pretend that when we drive around town we are in a video game and he gives running commentary like, “Oh NO! We going crash that car!!” or “MOMMY! WE GOING UP A HILL” or “Mommy, we going DOWN a hill- WHEEEEEE!”

Tonight was his birthday party. We had some family friends over, we grilled out, we lit a fire, and we ate cupcakes.

Max was in heaven.

 

I’m Officially IN LOVE…

… with this dress!

I also love Ernie, who helped me get this photo into my blog!

Updates

Ernie and I got home from our delightful trip to Orange Beach,and within 15 minutes of being home- we looked at each other and realized we should have stayed gone longer. That being said, I still have felt very refreshed.

This past week was a busy one. I am enjoying the kids tremendously and Ernie and I are still feeling very schmoopy towards each other- always a plus!

A few pieces of Smith life:

• I finally decorated for fall and more immediately- for Halloween. Decorating for Halloween is one of my least favorite things to do, but the kids love it and I actually like the decor I came up with this year. The kids are getting older and they’re starting to push my “no gross-out, or evil, or creepy stuff” rule, but I will not budge on that one. We managed to do just fine without cleavers and blood (ewww).
• Ernie jaunted off last week to Wisconsin for 3 days. I missed him very much. I also really enjoyed cold cereal for dinner with the kids.
• The weather was pleasantly cool here for about a week. It was delightful. Then- just when I thought we were home free, it shot back up to the mid-90s again.
• Max is loving his preschool. That is $80 a month well spent.
• I found the most amazing product to clean the grout in my tile countertops and floors- called La’s Totally Awesome. I would HIGHLY recommend it. I also used it to remove an ink stain from the carpet, which did not come out with regular carpet cleaner. It totally got the ink out! As an added bonus, it comes in a concentrate, so you can stretch it so much further than one bottle. Best of all: I buy it at the Dollar Store! Seriously! 
• Worst news ever: I killed my neighbor’s dog on accident. (As if I would ever kill a pet on purpose.) It was awful and traumatic and Ernie has been saying for a year now that it was going to happen because Zoe- precious thing that she was- never learned to be afraid of cars. On Friday night, in her excitement to play with my kids, she chased my van down our driveway while I was pulling in and she got too close to the rear passenger tire. It was terrible. She was a Shiapoo and our sweet little Zoe never went anywhere without a bow in her hair.

So, odds and ends are up to date. I’ve been thinking a lot this past week about how more than anything, I’m just glad to have the kids and the husband that I have. We make a good Smith Team.

Kids? What kids?

I had two blissful days of respite from the demands of parenting. It was awesome. Quiet. Uninterrupted conversation. A trip to the beach that didn’t include a single beach toy. Delicious food.
     
Do we look happy? Do we look relaxed? Of course we do!
Two days was not long enough, but I’m so glad that we were able to sneak away- even if it was just for a couple of days.

It’s Been a Long Time Coming

Ernie has been begging. Begging, I tell you- to get away, just the two of us. This begging has gone on for at least 3 years and grad school, babies, moving, etc have all conspired against us and prevented us from having such a weekend as the one I am have right now. Yep- at this very moment I am typing a quick blog while Ernie reads his book and I am watching the boats float out on the Sound. We snuck away this weekend (we didn’t even tell the kids until last night) and we are spending two days at Orange Beach in Alabama. A few happy thoughts:

• It’s silent in the condo right now because no one is talking. How novel.
• I am really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and waking up whenever my body decides it wants to wake up. No alarms, no one crying about cereal.
• I have downloaded a 1000 page book to the Kindle to read at the beach tomorrow- and I will read without worrying where the kids are and without the constant mental headcounting.
• Ernie and I had a delightful, leisurely dinner and I plan to repeat that experience tomorrow night (as opposed to having to wait until the next date night).
• I like still really like Ernie. After 15 years, he’s still my BFF.

This little break (mini-vacay, if you will) is wonderful. It’s been a long time coming and I feel lucky to be here. I won’t take it for granted.

He’s 10!

Ernie turned 10 today. My first baby, the little guy that turned me into a mom, actually turned 10! Ernie has had the best day. He woke up happy, had a great day at school, came home from school happy, and then had birthday party- on a Monday no less- with his best friends. Pretty great way to have a birthday, if you ask me.

Ernie’s getting all grown up all of a sudden… and the recent pictures of him seem to reflect that.

He’s a great kid with a great sense of humor and he’s full of compassion. We are so lucky to have him.

Life is Hard

Nigel’s run-on sentence of the day:

“Mom, I was playing soccer today and someone came up and kicked me in the chest right here (pointing to his chest) and I didn’t cry and I kept on running because I learned that life is hard but you have to keep on going because that’s what a Smith would do!”

It’s days like today that make me feel like all this parenting stuff might actually be working :)

Ernie’s Excellent Letter Writing Skills

About three weeks ago we were following a concrete truck down the road and it was dropping large rocks off the back. Naturally, one of the rocks hit our windshield and left a nasty crack. We flagged the truck down, got the driver's information, and then subsequently sent a letter to the concrete company requesting that they pay for our new windshield. According to our insurance agent friend, the concrete truck was at fault and if we sent them a letter, they would pay for the damages. I think I mentioned before- it's been 3 weeks now. Here's the email that Ernie sent today.

Ms. Colavita-

I have been referred to you by Liz Asmar (or rather someone at her office at Stewart, Sneed and Hewes Insurance Company), who was in turn referred to me by Donna Mitchell at Jones Companies, who in turn was referred to me by James Stringer at Jones Concrete in Columbia, Mississippi.  I sure hope that you can help me, because as you can see I have been passed around more than a fussy baby at a family reunion.

We sent the attached letter out a couple of weeks ago, and it recently came back to us undelivered.  Please read it and let me know what we need to do to file a claim and get reimbursed for the damage done to our vehicle.

Thank you in advance,

Ernie Smith

We got a response back from her today saying that an adjuster will be out in the next 24-48 hours. Good Work, Honey!

Black Creek Canoe Trip: Pictures

The weather was creektastic yesterday! The kids loved jumping out of the canoes and swimming alongside them. They adored building a “Minnow Trap” and trying to catch bunches of minnows. They loved being outside on a Saturday and doing something fun!

 

 

 

Black Creek Canoe Trip: Preview

There are adorable pictures documenting our super fun canoe trip today, and those I will post tomorrow. But for tonight, I’ll share a canoe anecdote that makes me laugh even now.

As the canoe (paddled by me and Nigel, with Emmaline and Max along for the ride) headed swiftly and unwaveringly into a dense low-hanging tree, I could see that the crash was inevitable and I shouted, “Duck!”

At that point we immediately slammed into a mess of low hanging branches and Emmaline started screaming her head off and tried to jump out of the canoe and into the water (I seriously thought she had a snake on her, but in reality she was scared of a water spider) and Nigel was shouting, “What’s wrong, Emmaline? Why are you screaming?” and Max was crying because he had leaves in his mouth and I was laughing uncontrollably, because it was all so funny to me. The best I could do was gasp between giggling fits and call for Ernie to come and help us.

Ernie got us untangled and Emmaline decisively left my canoe to ride with Ernie (because of the aforementioned spider scare) and we started down the creek again.

About 10 minutes after the incident, when things were once again peaceful and calm, Max turned to me and calmly stated, “I don’t like that Duck, Mommy”. Poor kid was probably looking for a water fowl when we hit the tree.

Weekend Plans

Two weekends ago I had a really, really good idea. I only announce that I had such a good idea because Ernie is always the “fun and spontaneous” one in our marriage (and I- in comparison- am not) and I was really proud of myself for thinking this one up. As I drove Ernie to work on Friday morning I was pondering how, when I picked him up that evening, we’d be 1/3 of the way to the beach already, and why not just pick him up and keep on going all the way to the beach and have a picnic dinner! So that’s exactly what we did. When the kids walked in the door from school on Friday afternoon I told them to go straight upstairs and get their swimsuits on. I’m sure you can imagine the shrieks of delight.

The beach was beautiful that Friday night. The water was warm and there was a lovely breeze. The kids adored sitting on a blanket on the sand and eating dinner (roast chicken, tomato basil salad, fruit salad, french bread) on paper plates and drinking water bottles flavored with a variety of individual flavor packets. The kids officially crowned me the “Best Mom Ever”.

After the kids wore themselves out and the sun had gone down, we packed up and drove over to Cupcakes- a gourmet bakery in Gulf Port- where the kids were introduced the deliciousness of filled cupcakes with crazy amounts of frosting on top.

The evening was a complete success!

What are we going to do this weekend, you ask?

Easy. Tomorrow we’ll be spending the whole day canoeing and swimming in a river (Ernie’s idea this time). I can’t wait to tell the kids!

Implanted Memories

On the way to soccer practice I asked Ernie if he’d finished his homework.

“Um, yeah… I think so.”

“Ernie, you either did your homework or you didn’t. Did you finish your homework?”

“Um… yes…I did it all on the bus...”

“Hmm. I’m not sure that you’re telling me the truth, so I want you to show me your homework as soon as we get back to the house.”

When we pulled into the driveway after soccer practice, I’d actually forgotten this exchange in the car. Then Ernie turned to me and asked,

“Mom, is there such a thing as Memory Implantation where you can have a false memory planted in your brain?”

I said that yes, false memories happen all the time.

“So that’s what happened!! Mom, when I told you that I did my homework on the bus… I just realized that I was having an implanted memory! (So, I still have to do all my homework.)”

Well- he may not have been truthful, but I have to give him points for creativity!

Some days I think being a Man would be easier

I have been hesitant to blog for the last few weeks, not because there hasn’t been anything to say- but more because I haven’t had the words to articulate the things I’ve been mulling over in my head- and beyond the things in my head, I haven’t had much else to blog about (except for Nigel’s baptism, which was wonderful!).

For starters, I am having one of my regularly scheduled reevaluation sessions with myself. These sessions comes up at least once a year and they are often triggered by my frustration with household chores and then they snowball. You might be wondering at this point, what exactly it is that I am reevaluating with myself so regularly and the answer to that is my role as a stay at home mom.

I have a serious love/hate relationship with being a stay at home mom.

On the love side

• I get to be with my kids for all the normal, mundane (important) things in life
• All the togetherness for the mundane activities allows for lots of important teaching moments
• I am flexible during the week. I can be at the school if I need to. I can offer last minute Relief Society service pretty easily. I can meet Ernie for lunch on a whim.
• I have time to manage the minutia of running a household and it doesn’t take away from time with the kids.
• I am available for all the major holidays and all of summer vacation.
• I have time to read books, to sew quilts, to go to the gym.

On the hate side

• I am responsible for cleaning the house- even if I don’t do it, the ultimate responsibility is mine to make sure that it gets done. (This is a huge dislike for me).
• I am embarrassed to tell people that I spend my time at the gym, sewing quilts, reading books. I feel like this gives the impression that I lead a life of leisure and that I am not interested in working hard.
• I am ambitious (and I like praise) and I struggle with feeling trapped at home.
• I used to worry that maybe I was lazy and that I wasn’t smart enough to be employed. (Then I got a job when the older kids were young and I realized that people dumber than me get hired every day).
• Now I worry that if I wait too long, the career option I want will be closed to me.

So now we come to the crux of the issue for me. I am confident that this issue is highly personal and every woman is entitled to receive personal revelation about what works for them. But how am I supposed to resolve my significantly contrasting feelings? This issue goes so far beyond working or not working. It has to do with how I view myself and what parameters I allow for defining myself.

Which is why- today- I decided that things would be a whole lot easier if I were a man. Ernie never had to question the parameters given to him for defining himself. He always knew that he would go to work and that he would do that every day until retirement. He knew that he would be defined by his career path and he wouldn’t have to sit down and figure out every few months which hobbies made him who he was. I know many women who tell me that all they ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom and they can’t imagine doing anything else. I struggle with feeling ashamed and guilty that I haven’t settled smoothly into the trappings of Motherhood the way I’ve seen other people do.

I’m working to make peace with the truth that my ambition in life is not just to parent my 4 children, but to also Broaden and Contribute in the world around me. Since I am obviously not happy being defined by other people’s definition of a stay at home mom, I’ve decided that instead the people that I want to impress are my children. I want my kids to see me placing the highest priority on living the gospel, focusing on education (all kinds, not just college), and reaching outside of comfortable social groups and stepping out into the world where we all can do much good. I want my kids to be proud of me.

A Baptism Story

Nigel was baptized on Sunday and it was an absolutely fabulous day! Nonny and Poppy (my mom and dad) and Grandma and Pappou (Ernie’s mom and dad) drove down from Atlanta to join in the festivities. Sylvia and her kids thought that they were coming, until Sylvia found lice- that most dreaded public school pest- in Lilly’s hair. And so Sylvia stayed home, which was really and truly ok with me.

Sunday was a tender day. Because it was fast and testimony meeting, earlier in the day at church both Ernie and Nigel bore their testimonies for the first time in public. Ernie was incredibly sweet and sincere and he spoke about how happy he was that Nigel was getting baptized and then he shared how much he loved Nigel and all the things that he liked about Nigel (Nigel’s great imagination and sense of humor). Nigel bore a very sweet testimony and spoke about how he was going to be baptized and how he knew he was “always going to be good and do the right thing”. It was certainly a testimony full of hope!

I was worried before this weekend arrived that I would be spending my whole weekend cooking, cleaning, setting up, and taking down and that I wouldn’t be able to fully relax and enjoy this most special event. I am thrilled to report that this was not the case at all. I let the Walmart bakery handle the baptism goodies- which relieved a lot of stress and I cleaned the house some, but not perfectly (it was, in my opinion, perfectly adequate). The meals weren’t stressful and my dad was sweet enough to take me and Ernie out to dinner the first night that he and mom were in town so that I wouldn’t have to cook.

Lastly, I did not prepare a talk for Nigel’s baptism like I had initially planned. I assigned that particular task to Little Ernie (talk on baptism) and Maytha (talk on the Holy Ghost). My dad said the opening prayer and Emmaline said the closing prayer. My mom played the piano and I led the music.

Little Ernie loves to give talks, so he was thrilled at the prospect of speaking at Nigel’s baptism. He wrote a wonderful talk that he ended up leaving on the kitchen table at home, and when we got over to the church he was so mad about forgetting his talk, he really, really didn’t want to participate anymore. Dean Nickens conducted the baptism and when Dean announced Ernie’s talk, Ernie muttered under his breath (very loudly) “Oh, Man!” At that point I got up and Ernie very grudgingly got up with me. I invited him to speak, but he mostly just stood there stone-faced (which was so unintentionally funny, all the adults were giggling) and I gave his talk for him. He did read one passage of scripture and he announced that at his baptism he felt like he’d been “wrapped in a warm blanket”- but all of that was said in a frustrated, pre-teen tone of voice. (It was like pulling teeth). The very best part was that when he sat down he turned to his Grandma and actually complained that “she (meaning me) stole my whole talk!!” (As if I had somehow denied him the opportunity!) Maytha’s talk on the Holy Ghost was great and Nigel paid attention to the whole thing- which is a big deal since Nigel is very easily distracted.

The actual baptism was quick and perfect on the very first time. My dad and Big Ernie were the witnesses. I only type that because there is significance in this. Big Ernie has not been active in church for almost 30 years and he started attending church again about 2 years ago. This is the first time he has ever participated in any church thing related to the grandchildren (besides just showing up). He even wore a white shirt and a tie. He also stood in the circle for Nigel’s confirmation. Definitely a first for that one.

The baptism program was short and sweet- start to finish 40 minutes. Just the way I like it!

All in all, Nigel had a wonderful experience and think that his Baptism day will stay with him for the rest of his life. At least I hope it will. His Baptism Day certainly meant a lot to me and it’s a day that I will definitely cherish and look back on with a soft heart.

Take a deep breath

I have wanted to, thought about, and then not blogged every night this week. So much to say and share! I think that I could honestly call this the “Week of Nigel” since his birthday (his actual birthday day and birthday party day) bookended the week for us. I have also been pondering so many, many things about life, motherhood, cleaning supplies, and calorie counting. Am I a closet feminist? I have seriously considered that this week.

Let’s take a deep breath and begin the week’s recap:

• Nigel turned 8 on Monday. He is awesome! We love him!
• Ernie and I both weighed in on Monday. He is doing awesome at weight watchers, I am doing tolerably well.
• I love my spin class a lot!
• Ernie, Nigel, and Emmaline collectively decided that this was the week that they were done wearing uniforms to school. Nigel wants to know when he can wear regular clothes to school again.
• Relief Society. Lots of Relief Society.
• Absolutely delightful 3 hour break in the middle of the week at the deserted pool with Jenny and Rhonda. Max swam around and Jenny, Rhonda, and I had a fabulous group therapy session.
• Ernie and I had a big fight this week. (Miserable) We talked it out, with a couple of false starts at first, and totally resolved the issue. (Relief)
• Nigel earned his bobcat and went to his very first Cub Scout pack meeting!
• Little Ernie got a belt loop at the pack meeting for- wait for it- video gaming. He was thrilled.
• Nigel’s only birthday request was a fox birthday cake. Fox as in an animal, not the TV network.
• I spent the entire week agonizing about finding or making a fox for the top of his cake. Hobby Lobby saved me the trouble of sculpting fondant. Thank you, Hobby Lobby, for stocking a miniature plastic fox.
• Ernie and I were able to attend a session at the Baton Rouge Temple during the day. He took the day off of work, we left Max with a friend, and we were gone and back while the kids were at school.
• The Temple was wonderful.
• Being in the Temple with all the old ladies got me thinking about what I’m going to look like as I age. I guess I should take a look at my mom and answer my own question.
• I am in charge of contacting all the coaches for soccer.
• Soccer started this week.
• Am I defined as a woman by how well I clean?
• I much prefer to be defined by how well I mother. I just wish my ideas of mothering weren’t so tied up with guilt over not being highly motivated to scrub toilets.
• Two dear friends finalized their divorce. I have survivor’s guilt. I also feel so sad.
• Nigel’s birthday party was a huge success. Emmaline told me afterward that it was the “BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!” (and yes, she was speaking in all caps)
• Here was my very favorite birthday card. Scott Raber wrote this personal message, on behalf of him and his younger brother, inside of his homemade card: “Hope your birthday’s all fun and games, and we’re glad to give you this gift as a token of appreciation. So, Happy Birthday.” -Scott and Bryce
• I might be the only one that thought that message was funny- but I really, really did.
• Ernie and I have started watching the first season of the most recent “Battlestar Galactica” on Netflix. Don’t judge our sci-fi nerdiness.
• Emmaline and I went shoe shopping on Friday night. She announced that she wished that we had a billion dollars so that we could buy every pair of shoes. I said that I wished that too, but that she still had to choose just 2 pairs.
• After shoe shopping, Emmaline announced that shoe shopping is really fun (it is) and that she loves going on “girl’s campouts” with me (because she misheard me when I told her that she and I were going to have a “girl’s night out”).
• And now, ladies and gentlemen, a few pictures…

It’s Great to be 8!

Today is Nigel’s 8th birthday!! There are many things that I would like to share about Nigel, but the most important thing that comes to mind is how lucky we are to have him in our family. Nigel has a witty sense of humor, a keen mind, and soft heart. It’s been a delight to watch him grow up and to see him want to make good choices. Nigel was the baby who only slept on my chest for the first 3 weeks of his life. He is the boy who loves to climb- which is how I found him up on the counter pulling knives out of the knife block, when he was 3 years old. He is my son who has always (until this year) said that his favorite subject in school was recess. This year he’s fallen in love with math. Nigel is a joy in our home and I am so glad he’s ours. We LOVE Nigel!