Motherhood and Chicken Stock

Today I took the leftover turkey bones from dinner last night and boiled them in a large stock pot, to make some delicious homemade stock for future use. While the pot was simmering and the liquid was reducing, I remembered when I first started making my own stock. That was a long time ago, when Ernie was 3 and Nigel was 1 and Emmaline still lived in my tummy and I was seriously overwhelmed by motherhood. Being a mom is not something I ever wanted to be, but I always knew that I would do it anyways. I was really surprised, after Little Ernie was born, to realize how much I liked him! So loving my kids has always been easy as pie, but being a good mom has taken some growing into. Since I'm trying to take the long view on life, and I'm also trying to consciously recognize weak things that Lord has helped to make strong, I started a mental list of things that I do better now as a mom than I did 6 years ago.

• I laugh with my kids more
• I've accepted and I am okay with moving at a slower pace
• I worry way less about other people's opinions regarding my life choices (aka parenting style, etc)
• I do not judge other parents when their children are misbehaving
• I feel much closer to Heavenly Father and feel way more dependent on Him regarding my calling as a mother
• I can see beyond the diapers now and I can better see the potential of each of my kids
• I have let go of some of the guilt

So this list made me think about my kids and what makes each one of them so special and how amazing it is to be their mom.

Ernie: He loves deeply and is intensely loyal. He is protective of his younger siblings and cannot bear to see other kids be left out. He is very spiritual and thinks a lot about what he hears in church and at home. He is also a great kid and other people, both kids and adults gravitate to him.

Nigel: He is my sweet and sensitive boy. However, he is also hilarious and super-smart! It's a good combination because his sense of humor is tempered by deep concern that no one has their feelings hurt. One thing I love about Nigel is what he wants to be when he grows up. His answer to this question has not changed in 4 years: He wants to be a Normal Dad. :)

Emmaline: She is my spit-fire and I love that girl. She's almost like an unstoppable force of nature and I've often thought that I don't want to squelch her spirit, but simply help her to channel it. She is incredibly affectionate and visibly blossoms when she is given words of affirmation. She is also, "a big fan of Jesus!" and I love that about her.

Max: He came into our family and literally felt like our family glue. I think that all of us felt unconsciously incomplete until he was born, and now we feel like we are all here. Max has a delightful sense of humor and I can already see that he is determined and smart.

Right now I wish I could have a do-over! I wish that I could go back and be the mother for Ernie that I am now for Max. Since I can't go back in time, it's still a comfort to me to think that at least I'm improving. I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it weren't for these 4 amazing people that have come into my life!